The Future of Autism Are You Prepared

Welcome to Ausumness.

It's been far too long since I've made an entry. It's April and that's Autism month. Grrrr...More on my thoughts about that, later.

My lack of presence has nothing to do with a diminishing passion of advocating for people with Autism. I've actually found myself in a really difficult situation, recently. Bare with me through this explanation of where we are coming from and where we are now.

Now that my children are older, it's become very clear just how uncertain their future is as an adult with Autism and that is what I'd like to focus on for the next few entries. What can we do to help our children, as adults to live successfully in our world with Autism?

When we received confirmation that our children had Autism, I immediately wanted to home school them. (Forgive me, if you've read this in a previous blog.) I have a Bachelor Degree in Social Sciences, Secondary Education along with many years of teaching experience. So, I thought I'd be a decent candidate as a homeschool instructor.

My husband did not agree. He insisted the kids go to public school. Our oldest son is high performing and did fairly well in school. Half of the teachers had nothing but glowing reports and the other half had no idea what to do with him. Go figure! He never struggled intellectually or academically. Socially, it wasn't always a smooth ride. 

In Belgium (where we live), teachers are not required to retain a Bachelor Degree. That might be part of the problem. I have no idea how much training they get for teaching students who learn differently. Observing the curriculum through my children has been absolutely heart breaking and to make matters worse, they are even considering State Testing. UGH! (I digress.)

My oldest son's ticks were just insane. So much so, a guidance counselor from the city proposed he go to a different school. The same school my youngest was attending. My youngest was nonverbal and placed way down the Autism Scale. My husband, as you might imagine, was furious. I too, was very disappointed at this suggestion, but also concerned of the psychological well being of my son.

He was moved to that school where he fell way behind in the basic subjects because this school was "new" to teaching kids on the spectrum. They taught slow kids. They taught the kids that other schools didn't want. They taught kids that more than likely, were there because they didn't speak Dutch. (That might sting a little, but I observed that.) They taught mildly retarded children. They were not used to teaching ... academically efficient children or dare I say, had no idea how to.

It was more than clear to me that they were clueless when it came to Autism. I had to explain the most simple, no brainer, characteristics of typical Autistic children! It was so disheartening as an educator and mom of Autistic children. They were grateful for my tips and advice, at least and I worried myself sick (literally) leaving my kids in this institution.

This says mounds about the education system in Belgium, no?

After finishing primary school/lagereschool/12 years old, my oldest went to "one of the best schools for Autism in East Flanders". (Coughs) He and his brother were bussed well over an hour to this school where they certainly were challenged academically. Thank goodness! Their knowledge or expertise with Autism wasn't even minimal, in my opinion.

My youngest son was very pleased at this school and it showed through his amazing progress. He attended the lagereschool whilst my oldest attended secundair onderwijs or high school. The teachers were amazed at JJ's (youngest) performance and his ability to keep up with the different classes and he was thrilled to finally be challenged because despite a low IQ, the kid's really smart and he's got awesome memory. (I did mention that JJ was nonverbal. Click here for ideas that might help your children, students or family. The tips turned our world around in a great direction.)

My oldest was keeping his head above the water. He studied in the most difficult, "A Stroom". When Covid hit, school was closed and all went down the shitter from there. Perhaps the same with your children and students? Online learning was not working at all and his grades suffered terribly. He either had to repeat the year or drop out and go to another, traditional school which he did and graduated with success.

He's now attending university for Gaming Development! So don't give up on your kids!

My youngest is in one hell of a predicament and he's the reason why I'm here, today. (Sorry it took so long to get here. I felt you needed some background.)

I'll come back with more of the situation. You might be dealing with the same or similar issue and it is paramount that we find solutions. Solutions for our children. Solutions for the future!

Everything Seems Political These Days Why I've Joined Team Kennedy

Welcome to AuSumness, Dear Readers.

I cannot believe how long it has been since I've made an entry. I'll go into why I've been absent and why I'm back. Let me first say that I'm so glad you are here. Like me, you care. You care about your children, family, maybe your students, your community, country and perhaps also like me, the world. (I'm a total over achiever!) You care about the future and you want it to be awesome for everyone.

If you've been following, you know that my boys are pretty big now. They are 18 and 16. Can you believe it? I've been sharing our tips and tricks that work for us. They've made a huge impact on all of our lives and of course, those around us as well. I hope you've had the same result? We'd love to know what has worked for you.

So, I haven't been sharing in a while because things have been going so well. I've utilized the skills I've shared and our lives are just so much easier, now. I know it may not stay that way and we do still have our moments. I'll definitely share how working has come in to the picture, later.

I loved the blog as a space for me to get it off of my chest. It was therapeutic. I also really wanted to help people who were in our shoes. I had started blogging about Autism on my craft blog, The Cherry On Top. Then I had so many people reaching out to me, that I figured I put my findings on another blog to make it easier to link up my friends and family when they had questions.

I blogged a lot about food because that certainly is one of the biggest contributors to my boy's well-er being. Boy, Have I learned a lot more about food since then! Maybe I'll share more of that in the future.

One of my favorite and also one of our most popular blogs can be found here. What NOT to Tell Parents of Autistic Children It is cheeky and full of sass. It's a great resource to share around and you may get a giggle or two out of it. Hopefully, you'll be reconfirming it all and feeling so much better knowing you are not alone.

In the beginning, I couldn't find anything of value about Autism. I joined all of the BIG names and triple ugh. All they want is donations and for what?! I won't even get in to it. If your head isn't buried in the sand, you may already know. I did stumble across Children's Health Defense. It was like a homecoming! Finally, something intellectual, science based, mature, positive and oh so helpful.

If you are not familiar with CHD, its chairman "on leave" is the one and only Robert Kennedy Jr. This non profit organization is just one of the many, many contributions this man has made to help, improve and encourage our nation and even the world. I'll be blogging again about much more of his accomplishments.

Seeing how mainstream media just focuses on the negative aspects and fail to deliver any kind of real, factual, accomplishments this man has made, I feel I need to get out there and make sure people do know them. More about that later, too.

I'm very aware of the sacrifice, commitment and character of RFK Jr. and nearly cried when I read that he may be a candidate for President of the U.S. I feel like I've know this guy for years and I've seen and read the amazing things he does for America. Have you?

Joining Team Kennedy is going to be my contribution to my children. I'm showing them you have to do more than just complain and blah, blah, blah. You have to DO something. They will learn what it takes to make a country great. A neighborhood great. A household great and hopefully, I'll be giving them a brighter future.

If RFK Jr. would have this amazing opportunity, not only would America be a much better place, but through his guidance, knowledge, support and by example, the world would be a better place. Read more about Robert Kennedy's goals on the site and consider checking out Children's Health Defense if you want to learn more about Autism and much more. They make you feel like you're a part of the family. It's pretty special. I love listening to Tea Time while I work on my digital designs. Polly is so much like me! Crack the whip! You'll love the soothing voice of Dr. Paul and all of his wonderful advice. You'll get to meet a lot of amazing heroes. It's most inspiring!

I posted on FB that I was putting on my cape and freshening up my lipstick. Let's work together! Let's kick some ass and not only right the wrongs, but give our citizens back the land that used to be the example. The land full of resources, opportunity, creativity and compassion. Show support simply by signing up, donate, share links around to get the word out or volunteer in other ways.

We have to stand together no matter how hard they try to divide us. You know the line. Together we stand divided we ...

Grab you cape and let's go to work!

Autism Cuttables and a Free Printable That Might Just Make Your Life A Little Easier

Welcome to AuSumness where we get down to the nitty gritty when it comes to Autism.  We talk about the good, bad and the ugly all for the benefit of hopefully, helping our readers.

It seems most appropriate to write and or produce something geared towards Autism for April which is Autism Awareness month, though we believe everyday should be dedicated to this.

I'm in the middle of designing a collection dedicated to mental...issues?  I'm not sure what exactly sparked my Acute Anxiety Disorder, but that crap was heavy!  I might infer it was my kids and their Autism.  Having, let's face it, disabled kids is not easy at all.  Being a parent isn't easy.  The thought that my child will have to stay at home for the rest of his life is incredibly disheartening and a tough cookie to swallow.

Not all parents of Autistic kids will tell you that they wished their kids didn't have Autism, but I will. When I see other kids playing like I used to play.  Doing sport, like I used to or just being involved in things outside of the home, I get sad.  I wonder if my kids will ever get married.  If they will ever drive a car.  Ya know, the things most people eventually get around to doing.  My youngest won't even get an elementary degree despite his relatively extraordinary intellect and well, that one really gets my gander.

So in this collection, soon to be released there will be a dominating palette of black, white and grey.  I'm thinking that is how a lot of us feel most of the time.  Those of us who are dealing with depression, anxiety, Autism and or any other mental issues.  There is also a splash of vivid blue, purple, orange, yellow...because there are also colorful moments in between the gloom and uncertainty.

Future kit, Optimism and Bit's N' Pieces Template

I get frustrated about a lot of things in regards to my kids and their Autism and it comes out a bit cheeky at times and when I post, I always try to put a funny or bright spin to it.  There is enough crap going on in the world to bring us down and it's crucial that we don't drown in all of the negativity.  We have to keep coming up for air and we certainly do NOT want to bring others down with us.

I've recently been contacted by Michael whose site, LittleDoggiesRule has a particular article about The Top Benefits Of Getting An Emotional Support Dog.  If you're already a pet lover, you might already be aware of how awesome dogs can be in regards pepping us up when we're feeling down.  I've also blogged about pets and Autism is that interested you, click here.

My anxiety was mega intense in its early stages and I'm totally going to blog about that experience and what I've done to over come it because anxiety is a huge part of Autism for the family and all of its members.  Our dog definitely helps us out at times and what I personally find best, is I force myself to get outside and take him for a walk which is essential for both of our well beings.


Let me show you some fun and cheeky cuttables I recently designed as well as share a free tool that might and will hopefully make your life a little bit easier.

I call the above example, whimsical because it's a bit playful and fun.

This example is a bit more grown up.  So often, when it comes to Autism it's done with kids in mind and since my kids are now teenagers, I wanted a more sophisticated version, too.

These are the more colorful cards that you can purchase in my shop, Kreative Design Studio.  Print them out in your best quality and on good paper.  Then cut them out and keep them in your wallets or purses until you need them. 

These cards came in very handy when my boys were small and I can still use them for my youngest, though not as much.  I've learned quickly that a dose of humility goes a very long way when it comes to Autism.

I've got a variety of cards for you to use depending on the situation or just how raw you want to get.  I always recommend being the example as much as possible.  Do not be surprised if someone gives them back to you or even throws them on the ground.  Just try to keep on smiling and whenever possible kill them with kindness or wit.  I often go over the top with mushy cheer and delight in perhaps what some might call a melodramatic performance and it's always shut them right up.

You can use the cuttables for a variety of projects as you've seen.  Shirts, bags, notebooks, shoes, sneakers mugs, keychains, tumblers, backpacks...endless possibilities.  If you have a design request you can always contact me at: lmtroch@excite.com

In the bundle you will receive:

10 quotes in a whimsical font
10 quotes in the no nonsense font
1 poster on an 8x11 format saved in highest quality (double check your quality if you plan on enlarging it)
1 3x4 journal card in png format
1 8x11 page of cards with 3 different explanations (print as much as you like) in jpg format
Extra Bonus: puzzle heart, puzzle pieces in png format

All for just 5.99!

These cards are available for free.  I know how well they work in some tough situations.  Most people are more understanding once they know the situation.

You can check out my opinions throughout this blog.  There might be some helpful tips for you to try out as well.  Besides being a full time parent to two teens with Autism at opposite ends of the spectrum, I also have a Bachelor's Degree in Secondary Education, many years of teaching experience in various public and private education systems, a minor in psychology and I'm an avid reader in pursuit of making my family and my boy's lives as happy, fulfilling and healthy as possible.  I share anything that works or makes our lives easier.

If you are looking for more free tools, you can find stuff like this.  Some of my most popular posts are, "What NOT To Tell Parents With Autistic Children", "Tips For Feeding Sensory Disordered and Picky Eaters" and there's a lot more that might interest you.  We've also got a board on Pinterest and a group on FB.

Thanks so much for stopping my AuSumness.  We hope you'll find our resources useful and that you'll consider purchasing our cuttables from the Kreative Design Studio.

Best of luck with your Autistic endeavors and experiences.

Shine the Light on Autism

Welcome to AuSumness.

I'd like to share another story with you in hopes of shedding a little light, insight and perhaps lift your soul.  Parents who have Autistic kids need all of the soul lifting they can get, right?

Recently, JJ started karate.  We are over the moon and we've never seen JJ so enthusiastic about sport.  10 visits in and he still is crazy about karate.  We're fortunate enough that one of the trainers is even educated with special needs courses.

I have one of those over enthusiastic, extremely happy to see someone they know, fervent wavers. "Hi!" JJ shouts.  Then he turns to me and explains how he knows this person, but didn't know their name.  He does this with just as much excitement.

As it often occurs, the person to whom JJ is addressing completely ignores him.  So, he tries again to get a wave or acknowledgement.  "Hi!  I know you from karate.  Hi!"  In the typical fashion, the child turns around grudgingly and gives the weakest of smiles and is quick to advert their attention back to anything, but my child.

JJ with less enthusiasm says, "She didn't say anything?" The sparkle now gone from his beautiful, now sad eyes, face still flush from the warm gym and night's exercises.  My heart sinks to it's familiar low place and I turn and give him a princesse's smile filled with warmth and Disney magic and say, "Oh, no. She turned and smiled at you, JJ.  That's just another way to say hi.  It means the same thing."  Then I tightened my already loving grasp I had him in and kissed his forehead.

As we all know, the world can be a very cruel and cold place, but it can also be fun, loving and full of joy and generosity.  As in the example I just shared.  I reminded JJ of the bright side with a warm heartfelt explanation and loving cuddle and kiss. It is these perhaps more rare, but shining moments that we need to focus on and it is essential that we teach our children, through example to focus on these moments.

Equally important, we cannot let other's bad attitudes bring us down.  It's not always easy finding the silver lining, but it is always there.  I've begun making it a point, to enthusiastically greet people. Especially, ones I don't know.  I started greeting people as if I've known them forever.  Offering a warm, heartfelt smile and the friendliest of friendly, "hello's".

The reactions have been mixed.  Mostly, I receive nothing in return.  Occasionally, I get a sideways glance with an incredulous look from the corner of an eye.  Rarely is a smile received, but even less rare is a look of matched enthusiasm!  A warm, almost relieving look of appreciation.  Their eyes tell me, "Thank you so much for acknowledging my existence."

I'll tell you what.  I will go through dozens of those not so positive reactions for just one of appreciation and thanks.  My heart will lift, as will their's and the world, if only for a moment will be in a good place, again.  I'll not let it bring me down if I'm ignored.  It will further encourage me.

I explained to JJ several times that everyone is different.  Not everyone is flowing with joy, happiness and delight.  Bummer, right?!  We should never let someone's darkness steal our light.  We don't wish to join them in their sad abyss.  We need not question why they are as they are.  We might feel a touch sad for THEM, but certainly feel no sorrow for ourselves.  Keep smiling.  Keep spreading the light. Especially, in the darkest of storms.

UPDATE: The coach obviously knows nothing about special needs. JJ stayed a white belt for nearly three years because he couldn't get through the test at the end and JJ gave up. I can't even begin to explain just how pissed/hurt and disgusted he was. These emotions lasted for days and I don't know about him, but I'm still uber pissed!!!

We need to come up with more social and sport activities for kids with Autism!

Stop Taking It Personally and Autism

Welcome to AuSumness.

Just sharing a little Autism anecdote with perspective. 

JJ was helping with chores outside when he fell off of a retaining wall. (A common symptom of Autism is the inability to multi task and this does include walking, thinking, looking...all at the same time. Don't even ask why many Autistic peeps cannot ride a bike.). 

Knowing just how hemophobic JJ is, I quickly addressed the situation. Letting him know there was hardly any blood, he was helping me so wonderfully and that he certainly could have a sweet once I've cleaned and dressed the injury.

The power of diversion has proven helpful in many situations. 

Once his breathing was stable, tablet was in hand and he was comfortably relaxing on the couch,eyes fixed on his tiny screen, he said with indifference, "Mom, you're not always useless." 

After a few seconds of shock, I realized that this was actually a complement and thought worth sharing. 

So many discrepancies are caused by the inability to communicate in a way which is fully comprehended. So before presuming an assumption be certain that you've received the correct intension either with further thought or by nicely asking if the perceived assumption is indeed true or simply ask for a different explanation.

Communication is very difficult for a lot of people with Autism and when ya think about, it is for most everyone.  Hehehe...We all could start not taking everything people say so personally.  My oldest son often shouts at me.  It's difficult not shouting back and it does upset me.  Sometimes to tears, but when you look at it in it's rawest form, it's just misplaced anger. It certainly isn't right and it's not very nice, but I won't let it bother me.  

I sure as heck will let my son know that I do not appreciate being shouted at and as always will remind him how he reacts when someone shouts at him and how it makes him feel. It is very, very important to let people how their behavior makes your feel, but I recommend doing it nicely.

Thanks for stopping by AuSumness.  Scroll through our other useful entires like this one about thinking outside of the box with your Autistic kids, students or family :

http://au-sumness.blogspot.com/2017/03/a-different-way-of-thinking-and-autism.html

Here's an entry with a free printable that. might help kids deal with emotional meltdown:

http://au-sumness.blogspot.com/2017/02/autism-and-emotions-printable.html

And one of our most popular posts about socializing:

http://au-sumness.blogspot.com/2016/09/autism-and-socialising.html

Thank you for stopping by our blog and best of luck with your dealings with Autism.

Explicit Attention Taken For Lack of Regard and Autism

Happy Sunday, Lovely People.

I thought I might share a little more about our experience with Autism in hopes of enlightening you in a direction which may still harbor shadows. 

JJ is very, very clumsy as are many people dealing with symptoms of Autism. I would infer that it's due to the explicit attention to one thing (that most of us do naturally or even innately). 

When JJ is cruising down a path on his scooter he has little, what might appear to be regard, for others also on that path. Some might grumble and think it rude, that this child does not ride more thoughtfully when actually ALL of his thought is concentrated on riding that step. 

It is very much like a toddler who is just learning to walk. They are concentrating so much on their wonderfully moving legs, that they do not focus on where it is they are going. I've learned to be more patient of people who "appear" to be thoughtless in their juxtaposition to me and others and I hope you will, too. 

Keep in mind, we all have different ways of thinking and some of our brains are wired differently than others.  Either way, kindness is always the best response.  Especially, when it's difficult.  You just never know what those people's shoes have walked through.

This world could certainly use more patience, understanding and kindness.

Take our tips and apply them to your everyday life.  Be the example.

Thanks for checking out Ausumness!

I've Just Been Told Someone Has Autism, Now What?

Welcome to Ausumness.

It's been a long time since I've made an entry.

Things are going pretty well and I've started a new venture that is extremely time consuming.  Dividing my time has proven difficult.  I bet you've also bitten off more than you can chew a few times.

I can't, in my heart, stop with this blog.  Even if I only periodically make entries.  My goal is to inform, educate and support educators, care takers and parents who are involved with Autism or for those curious.

I'm sharing a recent post I made on Facebook, that got a lovely reception and apparently, helped a few friends.  There is nothing I love better than helping.  This is one tough battle to fight and no one should have to do it alone.  Read, search, find help, explore, TRY and you really will find answers.  Things really can get better.  You certainly CAN eliminate or reduce problematic symptoms in a variety of fashions at no cost.  Never, ever stop trying to make your life or the people in your life who have Autism easier, more enjoyable or at the very least, tolerable.

This is what I wrote:

"Do you ever wonder why people "warn" or rather "inform" you that their children or whomever have Autism? I was just thinking, how I often enlighten strangers that my children have Autism, but got to thinking what that might mean to someone who doesn't know how to respond to that. 

What it means for us is, have a little or at times, a lot of patience. Try not to stare or give discouraging looks because it will make things a lot worse. Do not judge any of us. (Leave the judging for the dude upstairs.) Give us space. Try to learn from the experience. If you hear something that displeases you, ignore it. Don't take it personally. Don't assume that they can think like you. Try to be sympathetic because you only have to deal with the situation temporarily while we have to deal with it a life time."

One of my friends responded to the post, grateful and explained that her son was having such terrible difficulty in school.  The teachers and students were mean to him.  I responded with this:

"I SO understand what you are going through. As a parent and teacher, I'm absolutely disgusted and frankly disturbed that teachers do not receive a LOT more "workshops" or education on how to deal with kids with special needs. I read, read, read. Even though my kids go to a special school, I had to "school" the staff. I go to meetings with an arsenal of information that is useful and essential for the TEACHER. I give them ammo to use, when things get tricky and share tips on how "not" to do things so that issues don't even arise. The good teachers, who realise that this is not a criticism, but a very useful tool are typically grateful and huge improvements are attained."

Think of things that work at home and they may also work at school.  By all means, do not assume the teacher has been properly instructed on how to deal with Autism.  Some teachers mean well and truly love their students, but do not have a clue about special needs.  Help and nurture them and they will do the same with your children.

I hope you've found this useful.  I've got a Pinterest board for Autism, where you might find more tips.  I have a very quiet group on FB if you are interested.  

Thanks for visiting Ausumness.