We had an AuSum response to our blog on socialising. Thanks so much if you were a part of that! We totally understand the importance of socialising and the great challenges it brings to our loved ones on the spectrum of Autism.
So we're back with more helpful tips on how to deal with social situations and or going out in public with people who may act in a way that is undesirable for others. I remember when I was young, I would often give a frantic mother a hairy eye when their child was misbehaving. How terrible of me? I had no idea what the situation was. It was judgemental, not thoughtful and down right rude of me.
I don't know about you, but when our boys were very young, we tried our best to not go out mainly for fear of outwardly distracting behaviour that many people would consider, not normal. It really is a double edged sword though, isn't it? By not going out, how are we to try and teach our children how they should or should not behave when in pubic?
A good dose of humility is the what we would prescribe for this. Allow me to try and explain how humility will help make your life more enjoyable for you and those around you.
I would dare to guess that many of you have had to deal with flat out embarrassing situations when in public. For example and hopefully, give you a laugh or at least an "I hear ya!", I was walking with my son behind a friend from school and his mother when my son shouts, "Wow! Sander's mom is really fat!" Could I have turned a darker shade of red?! Or the time my son picked up a can of beer that was laying on the side walk and began to drink. Then there are the meltdowns in the nice, quiet restaurants.
Often, social visits lead to some kind of irregular behaviour. The best way to deal with these situations is through humility. Let's talk about some qualities of humility and how when used they are totally to our and other's advantage for when we show humility we can even control an uneasy environment.
Embrace who you are and how your children, students, family or friends are. This has to do with authentically portraying who you really are and not try to disguise flaws. Be genuine, polite, sincere and calm when you are with your kids in public and there will be nothing for people to have to read through. They will see you exactly for who you are, a parent who's trying to do their best, given the circumstances.
By making eye contact with those around you and smiling warmly, you not only acknowledge their existence and perhaps annoyance, but you show them that you have considered them which makes you a nice person and should be treated as such. You also show that you have it under control or perhaps will have it under control shortly. Hehehe...
This next part is huge. Read carefully...
You will experience less anxiety and stress by remaining genuine and openly dealing with unfavourable behaviour in public when using humility.
This will take a lot of self control and thought.
Praise or thank those around you for being understanding or at least tolerant and don't be ashamed to apologise if an apology is necessary. This also takes a bit of humility to do. It shows an excellent example as well.
It may be difficult, but try your best not to compare yourself with others for it will only bring feelings of envy and jealousy. You may then, hold a grudge or become angry with someone who is displaying negative behaviour in your sticky situation.
Make light of the situation despite how heavy if may be for it will bring balance and eventually calm. It will show those around you, that you've got this.
We can influence people positively through our own humility which actually is just being true to ourselves. How refreshing is that?
Humility has saved our family so much stress and turmoil and we are all a lot happier because of it.
Humility can help everyone live a better life. Give humility a try for you, your family and those around you.
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Thanks so much for stopping by.
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