Pregnancy and a Candid Look at Possible Causes of Autism

Welcome To AuSumness.

Last week we asked the question, if there were a cure for Autism, would you give it a try.  We were pretty surprised by the reactions we received and we shared them in last week's edition.  Today, I said I would start talking about the gluten and casein free diet, but I'm saving it for next week.  I thought I would mention a few findings I read about pregnancy and autism.

Depending on what you read, you may have found that autism is largely linked to genes.  There is a lot of research going on out there and not all of it is hooked on this idea and you shouldn't be either.  We all need to take a very open view on all topics across the spectrum.  We must never think that there is no cure or that we can't stop this.

Some of you might be asking yourself, "I don't know of anyone in the family with any kind of autism or other similar mental incapacities.  So, how are ALL of these cases genetic?!"  That's what we've been thinking in our family.  Going back on both sides, searching for something and coming up with nothing and no one.

According to a Lancet report I read and several others, they made the conclusion that only a small percentage of autistic children is actually gene related.  The Lancet, Dr. Mercola and many other professionals are attributing autism to toxins, gut flora, vitamin deficiencies, food, toxins, medicine, iron deficiency and other non gene factors.

The most important part here, is for pregnant ladies to understand how their diet and environment can have a serious effect on their baby's health.  Of course, a cleaner, less toxic environment will help greatly reduce the risk of Autism.  As will sufficient vitamin consumption, notably vitamin D as well as an understanding of their own gut flora and the means of knowing all of the aspects of having a healthy child.  We're specifically going with autism related health, but LEARN just what is toxic.  You may be surprised or perhaps not thought of it.  Check out this list for starters:
http://drbenkim.com/articles-household-toxins.htm

Gut flora are microorganisms that live in our digestive tracts.  It provides a barrier or block to pathogenic organisms.  Inflammatory and autoimmune conditions can occur when gut flora is not at its best. (Wikipedia)  Gut flora can be improved through diet.  there is amazing connection between the gut and brain which is why it is so important to have healthy bowels.

Tests can be done to check the condition of your gut flora.  I did get a check for the condition and leakage of my digestive tracts and came out clean!  So this was not, more than likely, how my children acquired Autism either.

There is a connection with this and the next blog.  Diet as means of mending both gut flora and  minimising autistic symptoms.  We just thought the research was well worth knowing and something to consider for pregnant or those ladies wanting to become pregnant.

The other factor, which is a bit of a bomb and may cause some reactions and that is vaccinations.  Before you jump to any conclusion, make sure you do your research first.  Keep an open mind and read further and see if any of it makes sense and perhaps do some research on your own if you are not satisfied.  The two sides are driving me crazy!  I have no idea which one to believe.  As I mentioned, we saw a night and day difference after my youngest had the MMR vaccine.  So, I don't think it would be smart to rule this out yet and there is good credible research with valid explanations of how vaccines can have ill effects. You can find whatever opinion it is you are looking for and I supposed that largely depends on where you are coming from.  Read it ALL with an open, critical mind and do what you think is best for your family.

I wanted to leave links, but then you might be left as confused as myself!  I suppose, perhaps the largest factor to consider is, if vaccines WERE a cause of autism, what would be the consequence?  Think of the organisations behind it all and the ripple effects that would occur if the connection of autism to vaccines would be proven.  If you start a search of autism and vaccines, the majority of the information found would be pro vaccine.  I'll share a few varying links.  I apologise if I leave you in the confused situation we are in.  Hehehe...

Autism-Vaccine Link: Evidence Doesn't Dispel Doubts - WebMD

http://search.mercola.com/results.aspx?q=autism%20and%20vaccines

http://drhyman.com/?s=autism&submit=Search (I really found the first article here, interesting.)

If you'd like to discuss this or have important information to share,  join our group.

Thanks for stopping by AuSumness.

Is There A Cure For Autism?

Welcome to AuSumness.

We've found some pretty ausum information in regards to diet and autism and we'll be breaking it up, putting it in easy, fast summaries over a few months and sharing it with our readers.

If you have tips or excellent resources with helpful information about autism, feel free to share the links in the comments.  There is a lot of information out there.  Some misleading, a lot of confusing stuff and contractions that we can't even keep up with.

We are not doctors.  We are parents of two boys with autism that are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  We are just sharing what we've read and you can do what you want with this information.  Everyone is different and dieting affects folks in different ways.  What may work for one may not work for another.  We are willing to try it all out.  Especially, if it is a natural way.

I recently asked, in our group, if there were a cure for autism, would you give it to your loved ones.  I was a bit stunned by the responses.  Not in a negative way, but more of a, I never looked at it that way, kind of way.  Hehehe...

Here are some of their responses:

"I'm afraid of what trying to cure him would do to his personality. How much of it is due to his autism."


"For me no, better understanding of the spectrum is what is pray for."

"My friend says, she loves her children and each has their own quirkiness that makes them unique. She wouldn't stop loving them if they were cured, but doesn't want a cure."

"As far as cure, if it would let me know and reassure my worries that he would lead a "normal" life and not be dependent, then yes, definitely a cure and of course, it depended on what the cure is and what it all entailed. "

"Not if it were to change his attitude and his little quirks.I worry about his future a lot, and I worry about his ability to cope with things but I wouldn't change him... he has a beautiful loving soul and has touched many lives when they have stopped their assumptions about him."

"Autism is not a disease, therefore there can be no "cure". Why would anyone want to change the way their child is? That means changing WHO they are. I find that the parents who are seeking a "cure" are usually the parents who have difficulty really and truly accepting their children. It is as though they are in denial, and/or they are mourning the loss of the child that they wanted but never had (instead they got this "imperfect" child and they need to figure out a way to "repair" them)."

"In asking one of my sons if he wished he was like the other kids at school or like his sister... His response is this... 'I'm not like the other kids. I like me and I'm happy'. How could I want a cure?"

I am totally into curing my children of autism, if it is indeed possible.  I wouldn't think twice as long as they were not harmed in the process.  Does this mean I love my children less?  That I don't love them for who they are?  That is for each and every one of us to decide for ourselves.

I was totally put off by the overwhelming responses from loving parents who didn't want a cure for autism. At least for their children.  It certainly made me think twice, but my husband and I agreed, we want a cure if there is one.  We are very concerned about our children's future and we know, with their degree of autism, living independently isn't an option.  We watch our children suffer and struggle with everyday, little things, most people take for granted.  I'd love to see my boys live a less stressful life.  Minimising their chaotic way of thinking and living is necessary to be a happy, productive contributor to our community.  Understanding others feelings as we all as their own is hugely important in every day life.  If I can make life a bit easier for my family, I'm in.

According to a lot of research out there, some people can be cured through eating habits and those are what we will mostly be focusing on.  We'll look into marijuana as well as a possible injection.  I still need to get further info on that one.

I also found interesting statistics in regards to preventing autism if you are pregnant as well as vaccination and the condition of your children's health that might also interest you.  All to come!

If you would like to answer the cure question, join us in our group or leave a comment.  Just keep it friendly and do not push your judgment on others, please.

Next week, we'll be looking in to the gluten and casein free diet as a means of curing autism.

Diet and Autism Continued

Welcome to AuSumness.

It isn't always easy finding the awesome in autism and that is why we made it our goal to bring you information, tips and share our experience as well as research in bite sized, easy to understand pieces.  We will be presenting information we've discovered on diet and autism.  There is quite a bit to be found on this subject.  However, some very contradictory.

Here's the outline of what we will be bringing to AuSumness over the next few months.

We're starting off with some of the basic biological components of diet and how certain foods can affect us in different ways.  We will be going a bit into detail, which is why we are breaking up the information in smaller blogs.  Of course, the gluten and caesin free diet will also be high lighted.  We'll round up the international research we've done.  I'm super curious as to how other countries and areas of the world are affected by autism and I wonder about treatment there as well.

In the second edition, we will take a more critical look at the various recommended diets for people with autism.  We will bring all of the sides of the story so that you can get the best idea of what will be the ideal diet for your autistic loved ones.

In the third installation, we'll share our links with more supportive information on diet and autism, charts to help you get started and through the process as well as recipes.

The fourth phase will be all about a well rounded, healthy way of living. So often, doctors do NOT recommend or even mention diet as a means of health improvement.  We truly are what we eat and what we eat has an amazing impact on us both physically and mentally.  There is a link between the brain and the stomach that is incredibly phenomenal.  It's almost inconceivable for one to understand.  You've heard about a gut feeling?

Join our journey on diet and it's impact on autism.  It isn't going to be easy, but the payoff could be great!  Prepare yourself by keeping an open mind.  View the information critically as well as intellectually and know that there might very well be a cure as well as preventative measures.  Then ask yourself, how dedicated you are to curing your loved ones of autism or perhaps alleviating autistic symptoms.

We'll see you next week!

Diet and Autism, Get Them To Eat Healthy

Welcome To AuSumness,

We understand how difficult it can be to continuously come up with healthy snack ideas that the kids will love.  We've got lists, charts, printables and links to supply you with ideas.  We also want to remind our readers of the importance of eating healthy.  Believe me, we get how difficult it can be encouraging your Autistic children to eat healthy food, but you CAN'T give up.  You just can't.

It's been proven that diet certainly has an effect on behaviour.  You truly can minimise some of the symptoms of Autism through diet.  Well be back with another blog speaking more scientifically and in depth on this very important subject.

Let's just jump right in to healthy, fast, kid approved snacks.

Quite possibly the easiest way to curb the tummy growls is with a tray like this one.  Freshly washed fruit and or dried fruit, vegetables like cherry tomatoes, cucumber, carrots and olives, coupled with some nuts and pretzels.  

Serve it up in smaller portions or a larger one for a party idea.  It's so easy.

This fast, easy, healthy snack idea below, has got to be the best one.  I use these canisters to store nuts and dried fruit. It's right out in the middle of our island.  It's easily accessible for all of us and it's kept stocked nice and full with a changing array of various nuts, seeds and dried fruit. I use the stash for in  lunches and school snacks.  I also allow the boys to help themselves to the contents when I'm too busy to prepare them something.  We often say, ''It's that or nothing" and it often stops the whining.  They love having control of what they eat and I don't have to worry about sugar rushes. The image below is hooked up to a great site, Nuts.com. They have tips on healthy snacking, recipes, an amazing supply of delicious snacks that will make your mouth water and much more.



  

A great way to get the veggie haters to eat their veggies is to sneak them in there.  I puree carrots, zucchini, nuts, seeds and dried fruit and add them to a plain muffin recipe with a sugar substitute or low sugar quantity.  They have no idea! I also change it up by using the batter in a donut pan because my boys love donuts.  We've got a darn good Dessert Board on Pinterest where you can find healthier types of sweet treats.  Click on the image to get there and find your family's favourite.

Go further by making the food look fun, like we did here.  We use seasonal pumpkin, raisins and sunflower seeds in these muffins and in Halloween spirit, added some crazy eye balls to help distract them from all of the healthy fruit, veg, nuts and seeds in there.  

Don't be put off by adding delicious, dark chocolate chips in your cookies, cakes, waffles and pancakes.  5 grams of dark choclate is actually really healthy for you.  Seriously!  Check out the benefits of dark chocolate right here.  Then consider other snacks with dark chocolate like dark chocolate covered nuts and my favourite, dark chocolate covered raisins.

There are several blogs dedicated to healthy, fast and easy kid favourites as well as a couple of special entries for special needs children on The Cherry On Top blog.  Check out this free printable chart with lunch and snack ideas by clicking on the preview.

This is an in depth blog for the parents out there that need help getting their children not only just to eat, but to eat healthy foods as well.  We've got two boys with Autism and they both have a lot of food issues and here we share some of our successful tips to get'em to eat.

Take a gander around nuts.com the blog and our Pinterest and you'll be set with an arsenal of goodies for the lil'uns.

Thanks so much for dropping by AuSumness. 

Happy snacking!



What NOT To Tell Parents With Autistic Children

Welcome to AuSumness.

As most readers know my husband and I have two young boys on the Autism spectrum.  Our oldest is high functioning while our youngest is not.  Our mission is to find out everything we can about Autism.  We also want to find ways to help minimise the symptoms and prepare for the future.  If you know of excellent resources, share them in the comments.

A great way to help folks with their life long journey with Autism is knowing what not to say to them.  If you're not sure, don't say anything.  It's always best.  The spectrum is huge and not all Autistic folks are the same.  Not even close.  If you know just one, you don't know them all.

Consider these suggestions.

What NOT to tell people with Autistic children:

That they are spoiling their children.

For years both my in-laws and my parents continuously accused us of spoiling our children until we received official diagnosis from a team of professionals.  What a relief it was for us.  Our own family could finally stop BLAMING us for our children’s difficult and challenging behavior.  (Our very own experience has taught us that corporal punishment increases ill behavior 10 fold.  Find out why here and read about other ways to communicate besides hitting here.)

Do NOT tell caretakers of Autistic kids that it will pass.  For one, you will sound like a complete ignoramus because we are not talking about gas here.  It will not pass.  Autism is a lifetime sentence.  There will be terrible, unbelievably challenging phases where one will want to pull hair out, slam doors and cry into the pillow and there will be less traumatic phases, but every single day is a challenge and if one thinks otherwise, then they are looking at a world through rose coloured glasses where unicorns fart rainbows and leprechauns are waiting at the other end with a pot of gold.

Do NOT tell parents of Autistic children they have been blessed.  Hello!  Logical, rational, intelligent people do not believe in being blessed.  We all know that shit happens and some get more than others.  Autism is not a blessing.  We have learned a lot through our experience and we love our children to the point of physical and mental deterioration, but if we could ditch the Autism, we wouldn’t think twice.  Why else would so many desperate souls be looking for a cure?!

I’m pretty sure when people say it’s a blessing they actually mean they feel blessed by not having kids with Autism.  Now, THAT is something I can get my head around.  

Do NOT bother with the Evil Jedi Mind Trick Glare.  For one, it doesn’t work.  You will only make things worse for yourself.  When a smart, receptive parent feels the power of a negative force, they won’t even bother to try and deal with whatever annoyance that person may be having because they only have to deal with Autism for a tiny fraction of their life while the caretakers will continue until they’ve made the grave.

Another reason this is a waste of time is many kids with Autism do not GET what the people are even doing and if it were my kids, they would probably make fun of that person, point and laugh because to them, they look funny and weird.

This goes back to the whole corporal punishment tactic and why it doesn’t work.  Many Autistic kids don’t feel guilt, shame or even have the slightest bit of responsibility for their actions.  Cause and effect is just as obscure to them as to most people’s conceptualization and understanding of Autism.

Do NOT tell folks dealing with Autism that you don’t believe in Autism.  It isn’t a religion!  It has nothing to do with faith or belief.   Autism is very real.  Autism spectrum is a “complex set of neurological disorders that severely impair social, communicative and cognitive functions” and “scientists have determined that many Autism cases are a genetically based condition” and that "pesticides and pharmaceuticals could also be a contributor."  

So what should you say to a parent whose life has been turned absolutely upside down?  Whose entire future will be dedicated to this eternal struggle?  Who will more than likely have to care for their child or children their entire life because over 90% of Autistic people are unemployed and are not capable of caring for themselves?

Nothing!  Keep the gob shut because the 5 minutes of agitated impatience and lack of compassion only makes people look like a fool.  If these are people you know and love, ask if there is anything you could do to help.  Tell them they are doing a great job and that you are there if they need you.  Be honest and say you don't understand if you don't or that you can't possibly imagine what it's like or how difficult it must be.  If it isn't constructive or helpful, don't bother saying anything.  (This goes for life in general, too. ;)

These are my musings.  It’s not a debate or open for discussion.  Just some truth laid out as I see it.  After over a decade of dealing with Autism I have been given one very important gift.  The gift of not giving a crap about what other people think about my kids and the way we are raising them.

I've got another blog entry with tips on how to host a party for special needs kids as well as tips on how to attend a party for a kid with special needs.

If you're looking for support or advice with your Autistic children, friends or family go ahead and leave a comment and we'll see what we can work out together.

Thanks for checking out AuSumess, finding the awesome in Autism.  Best of luck!

Hosting or Attending A Special Needs Party

Welcome to AuSumness.

Today, we're giving tips on hosting a special needs party.  We're asking you to ask yourself some questions as well, to make sure having a party is a good idea.  I've been to a few parties that failed pretty miserably, though I did appreciate the effort.  We'll help you make sure this is the right thing for YOU to do, help you figure out who to invite, what you should plan for, things to consider when sending invitations and considering non Autistic attendees.

I hosted another party for my son and a couple of his friends.  Jeffrey has Autism.  Not all of the guests have Autism, but they all have special needs, like Jeffrey.  Planning a party can be a daunting task for children that require a lot of attention and we are here to help.

Children with special needs already have it tough.  Not having parties for them or not allowing them to go to parties is not a great option.  It's important to learn or tolerate how to attend a social gathering.  Start with small steps, but make sure you start.

Know your guests:

Be selective with your guest list.  Make sure you know who is coming and what the children are like. I chose, low key kids that were not aggressive.  Mine are the opposite and balance is essential for a successful party.  Don't feel bad about not inviting someone who might make you or your guests feel uncomfortable.  It's YOUR party.

Some children are incredibly shy and do not do well in strange places.  Make sure you are aware of this, first.  Very often, special needs children are afraid of pets, sudden and loud noises as well as loud/harsh voices.  Consider a dog sitter or keeping them outside.  Even barking can be very scary and or stressful for your guests.

They may need help going to the toilet, redressing after the toilet and guidance with hand washing.  Often, they may need to be reminded to go to the bathroom as well.

You could always talk to the teacher to find answers to important questions.

(If you are wanting the recipe and tutorial on how to make this spider web cake, click here.)

Invitations:  Keep them plain and clear.  Often, the parents of special needs kids are special themselves.  Reading might be a problem and also consider if they speak the language that's on the invitation, if the child cannot read it for them.  Consider an invitation with an insert where the parent can fill in any special requirements, quirks or important information and send it back to you.

Contacting Parents:  This can be very difficult.  It could take a very long time to get information to and from parents.  Don't buy ahead without knowing, if at all possible.  I was planning on three children.  One said they were not coming on the day of the party and one had an extended illness and never bothered to call us to tell us that.

Consider the number of children that you wish to invite.  I only invited three, low key kids because I was on my own.  If you have more  help, then you may consider inviting more.  A ratio of 3 kids to one adult should do.  Depending on the level of experience the adult has in dealing with special needs kids.

A lot of challenged children like to play on their own.  Be ready for that.  I combat this by having stations with different activities as well as a place where we can all be together and a place where they can safely retreat.

Will your invitations include children without special needs and are they used to being around these kind of children?  There are a lot of folks out there who are inexperienced in dealing with the special needs of others.  A good explanation of what they can expect to see at the social function is highly recommended as well as what and what not to do while there.  Do they want to be there?  Think about this as well and although you may consider it a learning experience for them, if both they and the host might suffer from them being there is it worth them attending?

Over Plan:  Always, always, always have more activities planned then what there is time for.  You will thank yourself for this.  Keep the activities VERY simple or at least use activities where the level of difficulty can be adjusted.  Simple colouring pages and more difficult ones is a good example.  Many special needs children lack in motor skills.  Keep this mind when planning activities, too.

Keep it short:  Keep your party short. 1-3 hours maximum.  Working with special needs children is really tiring.  I have two and that's hard enough.  Adding a couple more to the plate is very difficult for a seasoned, former teacher and mother of two Autistic boys.

If you are not comfortable around children like this, then consider not having a party or consider having a party with family members.  It took me two years before I adjusted to being around multiple children with special needs.  I felt terrible in the beginning, but now I love it.  Don't beat yourself up if you feel this way.  Your feelings are yours, for whatever reason.  Immersing yourself in the school's environment will help a lot.  It isn't easy in the beginning, but if you keep with it, it will come.  If it doesn't, at least you tried.  I believe with all of my heart, that it takes a special someone to work with kids like this and love it and there is absolutely no shame if that person isn't you.

Prepare yourself for the reaction of others:  Many of my friends who also have children with extraordinary situations, complain about the evil looks they receive from other people who are not aware of their children's situation nor how much that parent might be doing to try to improve it.  I suggest two things.  The first is really easy.  Ignore it.  Do NOT let the insensitive cruelty of others bring you down. I actually feel sorry for them for being judgemental where they shouldn't be.  

You could try the humour card and have a few lines prepared such as:  "If you are trying the Jedi Mind Trick on my child, it's obviously not working. So, you can stop now."  or "You wanna trade jobs?!"  You could turn the tables and focus your attention and your child's on the person who is upsetting you by loudly and absurdly stating, "Look!  Yet another small mind who thinks they can alter this awkward and painful situation by their disapproving looks!!" Often, I act just as silly with them and then you get the expression of, "The nut doesn't fall far from the tree." and that seems to be more acceptable than their misinterpretation of bad behaviour due to poor parenting.  Hehehe...

These are our tips.  I hope they will help you.  I've got another blog about gift giving to Autistic people.

Here are some more links with more tips on hosting a party for kids with special needs.

http://www.metrokids.com/MetroKids/May-2012/Special-Parties-for-Special-Needs/

http://www.parentdish.co.uk/kids/party-planning-for-autistic-children/

http://www.specialneeds.com/activities/add/special-needs-and-birthday-parties

http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2012/04/24/6-tips-for-planning-an-autism-friendly-birthday-party/

Time Management and Autism

Welcome  to AuSumness.

We are always on the look out for all of the awesome we find in Autism.  Sometimes we have to find strategies to make that search a bit easier.  That's what we're up to again, today.  Let us share a few helpful tips with time management.

As you may have discovered, it can be very difficult to get the kids ready on time.  Both of my boys have zero sense of urgency and must continuously be assisted with preparing for departure in a timely manner.

In a previous blog we mentioned timers and how they can help with tasks.  I often use a timer throughout the day so they could see through example, how it works.  I chose the timer on my stove because my youngest would pick up a small one and chuck it across the room if he didn't want the stress from having this kind of limitation.  Keep that in the back of your mind when trying a timer.
Have them help set the timer and perhaps start off using the timer for fun things.

A visual chart might help with time management and getting tasks finished in a timely manner as well.

Keeping routine is also very helpful with completing jobs and meeting deadlines or time lines.

If you are struggling with time constraints and keeping your children, family, students or friends on task, try to figure out exactly what it is that is stealing that time.

As you may have figured out, distractions can be the biggest problem you face when getting ready or finishing something on time.  If possible, create an environment with as little distraction as possible.  Keeping toys, games, art supplies and other fun things out of sight could assist you greatly.

Look at my oldest up there!  He's all ready for school and fast, now that we've said, if you eat your breakfast and get ready fast enough, you can play games before we leave.  They all ready know, there are no games before 8 am and we have to leave at 8:20, so they could have up to 20 minutes of game time.  This has worked so, so super for us.

A visual chart might also help you with the morning routine.  Here are some previous posts where charts were our focus.  Check them out and download, for free, the ones that might help you most.


Click on the image to get this chart along with some other helpful tools.

Here's another idea for you try to and get your kids motivated.  Above each chart is a nifty gift for them to work for.  I have to use small ones for my youngest because he would get totally overwhelmed with a lot of boxes on his chart.  The boys often can work together for bigger things, too.  I always use things they like on my charts or make them exciting to look at.

Every weekend, my boys have to do chores and they are not allowed "Game Time" until they are ALL finished. I'm still amazed at what I can get these boys to do, thanks to games.

Whatever you do, make sure you give chores and other responsibilities, no matter how small or simple it may seem.  The younger the better. People can really feel accomplished or responsible when they complete tasks and it's a very important lesson to learn.  Besides, you probably already have a lot on your hands and it surly doesn't hurt having a few more hands helping around the classroom or in the house.

We hope these tips and visuals will help make getting ready and finishing tasks easier.  If you've got  more helpful information and or tips that work for you, please share them in the comments or join us in our group on Facebook.

Best of luck!

How Autism Affects The Family

Welcome to AuSumness!

Today's entry is a bit different.  Perhaps me venting a touch and hoping you can relate with some of these daily struggles that are really frustrating.  Get an idea of what it's like to LIVE with Autism, not just sit a couple of hours or minutes at a party or grocer.

Why is it that everyone wants to play down Autism?  "Oh, it isn't that bad, right?"  "He looks normal."  After a dinner party, "He was great.  See, I didn't even notice there was anything wrong with him."  How often do you hear these lines?  Everyone throwing in their two cents.

I do not understand the value of down playing someone's misfortunes, no matter what the situation is.

The things most people do not notice is the parents constant attention they are giving their child during that dinner or family get together.  No one seems to notice how many times Aunt Sissy got up to tend to the children and how little of her food was actually eaten.  Who sees the physical strain, the bags under their eyes?

The economical expense of having a child or even multiple children with Autism is rarely considered by most.  The therapy and doctor's visits take a huge portion of income.  Many parents lose hours of work to take their children around to various appointments or stay home because the child is often ill.  My youngest, has PICA.  He eats everything.  Though, things are better, when he was younger he was always sick from eating nonfoods, continuously.  Many families suffer financial grievances of great proportions and it never ends.  More than likely, it will be for life.  It is estimated that the cost of treatment starts at 1.4 million dollars to 2.4 million for a lifetime of treatment.  In our home, we must continually repaint, re-wallpaper, patch holes, replace broken furniture and other fixtures as well. Well above the normal upkeep.

Try to imagine, the stress parents and siblings face on a day to day basis.  Since the diagnosis of both of our children, we have all suffered mentally and therefor, physically.  My husband, though a marathon runner, suffered two heart attacks.  I have Acute Anxiety Disorder amongst other ailments that commonly occur due to stress. The impact is much greater than I ever would have thought. 

So while families with Autistic kids are still doing the everyday grind, like everyone else, you have to add all of these other factors on top of it all. 

There is often a great feeling of despair for families and parents of Autistic children.  Especially knowing there is no cure and they don't grow out of it. Parents may feel guilty because of the situation their child is in.  The future is so uncertain for most and that is also a great strain.  Many parents refuse to go in public due to behaviour that might offend or they simply do not wish to see the judgemental glares that just add fuel to the fire.

So, do someone a favour by not minimising their situation, no matter the situation.  This can also go for life in general.  Everyone has their own crap going on.  We can all be more compassionate.

Encourage through smiling, hugging and reminding people that they are doing a great job.  Let them know that you can't imagine how difficult it must be, but that you are there to help if they need it.  

Real enlightenment comes when we truly walk in someone's shoes.  When we put our perspectives aside and make the effort to see things how someone else does. This should lead us to more compassion, understanding and less judgment.

These ramblings are never meant as some kind of boo hoo pity party.  They are tips and tools to help others understand how it really is living with Autism and suggestions on how to interact when in a situation involving Autistic children or parents and family thereof.

Perhaps you'll want to share this blog with someone who just doesn't get it.  

If you've got something positive you'd like to add, leave a comment or join us in friendly chatter in our Facebook Group.

Best of luck and we'll see ya next week.

Tics, Stimming and Autism

Welcome to AuSumness.

Like many of our other entries, I've gathered a wealth of helpful information and rounded it all up into one easy to read and hopefully, helpful blog.  It is rare to find useful information that we can apply to our daily struggles with Autism and that's why we started this blog.

Today, we're looking at tics and stimming.  We'll learn the difference between the two, why they occur and give a few solutions as well as put your mind at ease.  Yes!  I really think we can do that, too.

Stimming is a self stimulatory behaviour.  Some examples of stimming are flapping of the hands and or arms, rocking back and forth, spinning and using words repetitiously.

Tics are semi-voluntary.  They are a voluntary response to an involuntary sensation.  More than 20% of those diagnosed with Autism have motor and vocal tics.  These are not the same as compulsions, habits or stereotypics.  A tic disorder is typically genetic and neurodevelopmental.  They are often tied more to males than females.  It could be linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain and from what we have observed, it certainly is tied to anxiety and overstimulation as is stimming.

We deal with both stimming and tics periodically with our two Autistic children.  My youngest is a flapper, clapper and a jumper.  While my oldest has tics.  He plays repeatedly with his hair, flairs his nostrils, repeatedly smells his fingers, shrugs his shoulders and moves his head from chest to back.  Sometimes he does all of these at one time and to the point of physical exhaustion. Both stimming and tics in our case stems from anxiety, overstimulation and stress.  It often comes in phases.  We've learned how to deal with both, so we don't get stressed when tics and stimming come into play.

In the article I was reading the information given from Dr. Zimmer,  it was explained simply as, URGE-TIC-RELIEF and was recommended to wax and wane, which totally worked for us.  In most cases people do not even realise they are doing these things.  Our child was oblivious to the fact, until we kept pointing it out. 

Knowing that stimming and tics is a form of release from mental stress, we often let it go, unsaid, but just how far should you let it go?  When it becomes uncontrollable, excessive or painful, inappropriate or socially unacceptable, the behaviour needs to stop.

Some tips to stop or prevent tics and stimming:

fiddle toys (see another blog entry about these)
subtle reminders
physical assistance
joining in
stress relief
diagnosis
exercise and meditation

Fiddle toys work great in class.  If tests stress your kids or students, fiddle toys are quiet and won't disturb others.  Fiddle toys are a physical way to help relieve metal stress and anxiety.  They often can help with focus as well.

Our subtle reminders to our oldest about his repetitive tics was often enough to make him stop. Of course, we had to also observe when he was doing this and diagnose the problem.  During school, endlessly and right when he got home is when the tics were at their worst.  (A new school, changed all that.  We have not seen tics in months.  Yay!)  It was obvious, that school was giving him stress and anxiety.

My youngest's stimming doesn't bother us at all.  However, when in public it may attract quite some unfavourable attention.  We could care less for the most part.  (See our previous entry on humility and how it can change everything.)  There are occasions when stimming is not appropriate and then we simply place a hand on his shoulder or drawn him in to sit on our lap or give a hug and it typically stops.

Often, we join in on stimming because it draws the action to the behaviour making our son aware that he's doing it, without having to say anything and then he stops without further thought.  He often enjoys this as well.  Have you ever flapped and jumped or sometimes screamed along with your children?  It feels great and really is a form of release.  Unless it is excessive, inappropriate, physically harmful, dangerous or socially unacceptable, I'd let them have at it.  Hehehe...

Find out why this behaviour is occurring and take action.

Consider exercise and meditation as another means to help alleviate anxiety and stress.

We're not medical professionals.  Take all of this with a grain of salt. Our mission is to help and inform.  Use what information you can and the best of luck.

Thanks so much for checking us out.

(I did find some helpful information at AutismDigest.com)

A Dose of Humility For Helping With Autism and Social Situations

Welcome To AuSumness.

We had an AuSum response to our blog on socialising.  Thanks so much if you were a part of that!  We totally understand the importance of socialising and the great challenges it brings to our loved ones on the spectrum of Autism.

So we're back with more helpful tips on how to deal with social situations and or going out in public with people who may act in a way that is undesirable for others.  I remember when I was young, I would often give a frantic mother a hairy eye when their child was misbehaving.  How terrible of me?  I had no idea what the situation was.  It was judgemental, not thoughtful and down right rude of me.

I don't know about you, but when our boys were very young, we tried our best to not go out mainly for fear of outwardly distracting behaviour that many people would consider, not normal.  It really is a double edged sword though, isn't it?  By not going out, how are we to try and teach our children how they should or should not behave when in pubic?

A good dose of humility is the what we would prescribe for this.  Allow me to try and explain how humility will help make your life more enjoyable for you and those around you.

I would dare to guess that many of you have had to deal with flat out embarrassing situations when in public.  For example and hopefully, give you a laugh or at least an "I hear ya!", I was walking with my son behind a friend from school and his mother when my son shouts, "Wow!  Sander's mom is really fat!"  Could I have turned a darker shade of red?!  Or the time my son picked up a can of beer that was laying on the side walk and began to drink.  Then there are the meltdowns in the nice, quiet restaurants.

Often, social visits lead to some kind of irregular behaviour.  The best way to deal with these  situations is through humility.  Let's talk about some qualities of humility and how when used they are totally to our and other's advantage for when we show humility we can even control an uneasy environment.

Embrace who you are and how your children, students, family or friends are.  This has to do with authentically portraying who you really are and not try to disguise flaws.  Be genuine, polite, sincere and calm when you are with your kids in public and there will be nothing for people to have to read through.  They will see you exactly for who you are, a parent who's trying to do their best, given the circumstances.

By making eye contact with those around you and smiling warmly, you not only acknowledge their existence and perhaps annoyance, but you show them that you have considered them which makes you a nice person and should be treated as such.  You also show that you have it under control or perhaps will have it under control shortly.  Hehehe...

This next part is huge.  Read carefully...
You will experience less anxiety and stress by remaining genuine and openly dealing with unfavourable behaviour in public when using humility.

This will take a lot of self control and thought.

Praise or thank those around you for being understanding or at least tolerant and don't be ashamed to apologise if an apology is necessary.  This also takes a bit of humility to do.  It shows an excellent example as well.

It may be difficult, but try your best not to compare yourself with others for it will only bring feelings of envy and jealousy.  You may then, hold a grudge or become angry with someone who is displaying negative behaviour in your sticky situation.

Make light of the situation despite how heavy if may be for it will bring balance and eventually calm.  It will show those around you, that you've got this.

We can influence people positively through our own humility which actually is just being true to ourselves.  How refreshing is that?

Humility has saved our family so much stress and turmoil and we are all a lot happier because of it.

Humility can help everyone live a better life.  Give humility a try for you, your family and those around you.

Consider joining our group on Facebook.  We share our stories and help and support each other.

Thanks so much for stopping by.

The Bright Side Of Autism

Welcome to AuSumness.

Our last entry on Autism was shared, liked and we received a lot of comments on our other social networks.  We love to see participation, compassion and so many folks looking for support, advice and or help, just like us.

There is an overwhelming amount of information out there and after years of our own, personal research and professional help, it's not all very helpful.  When we find something really good, we'll share it here with you.

The Atlantic posted, "Autistic Brains Have Distinct Advantages".  It's a really good look at different ways to view Autism. Many of us parents and teachers of Autistic children, feel that there is something special about our kids.  Not just in a loving parental way, but also objectively.  

We want you to look at your children with fresh eyes.  Look for the wonderful or even extraordinary things they are doing and start thinking of ways to utilise those talents.  It might take a while and it may not be obvious, but never stop looking.

Liam was so unique the moment he left the womb.  They put him on my chest and he raised himself up to look me in the face. I was worried that I didn't hear crying.  It was amazing.  He never slept as a baby and still needs very little sleep.  He rarely goes to the toilet and he needs the minimal amount of food.  In the beginning we found this alarming, but after several years we began to think how this could be advantageous rather than thinking of it as something bad.

Liam was able to do complex puzzles quickly before he could even stand on his own.

As the article states, "low functioning" autistic people can also be smarter in certain ways than neurotypical people.  We definitely see that in our youngest son, JJ.  He's low functioning and needs help with just about everything, even at the age of 9.

However, before he started showing signs of Autism, he was doing very extraordinary things.  I've always played classical music for the boys.  Especially, when they were still in the womb and to this day, JJ has an absolutely amazing and unexplainable relation with music.  He seems to be able to pick up on the pattern of music before the song or piece is even complete and half way through the song, he can finish it without ever having heard the song before.

JJ was non verbal until 5 and he still has serious problems with communication, but he was humming Mozart at one year old.  Today, he sings some songs that he hears in the car and his timing is just perfect.  I was listening to a funky, downtown kind of song with an over use of the "F" word, which he seemed to really like.  Hehehe...He understood the rhythm and timing before the song was over and we both never heard the song before.

Also mentioned in The Atlantic is how some unique skills from autistic people can be overlooked or deemed not useful.  We couldn't agree more with this and we feel that even many professionals are not grasping these gifts and directing it into something useful.  That's what we really want and need to change.

JJ is obsessed with Minecraft.  He turned a Jenga game into noticeable Minecraft figures.

Are your autistic friends or family good with math and puzzles?  Many autistic folks are great with finding patterns or making awesome connections that others cannot figure out, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  We all know about the falling tree in the woods.  We certainly need to change the way we think and then we will better our understanding of our children, family and friends with autism.

The Atlantic says that researchers are finding more evidence of profoundly disabled autistics that have incredible abilities that could be put to use if we could just get the right piece in the puzzle.  Just like The Atlantic mentions, autistic people being able to remember that January 13th was on a Tuesday, JJ can do that, too.  He also knows the birthday of everyone in his school and that's well over 100.

Yet what is his school or we, for that matter, doing about it?  What are all of these professional therapists doing to encourage, motivate or even improve these kinds of abilities?  Let's find uses for amazing abilities and let's also show others that this might just be another step in human evolution.  Perhaps finding a cure isn't all we need to focus on.  How about we focus on the utilisation of these unfathomable talents and give these people meaning, purpose and acceptance through continuous support and education so that people on the spectrum can become an integral part of our communities.

We seem very focused on erasing the differences between autistics and non autistics rather than harnessing the differences and working with the strengths.  Let's face it.  The social inability, if you will, to keep people feeling comfortable is a huge hang up of autism, but if we think more critically, is correcting this more important than improvement of their talents?  After all, how many people do you know that ask if you're ok even though they really don't care?  Aren't many comments your autistic friends and family make, things you're thinking anyway?  I don't know about you, but I like getting right to the chase.  I like it real and in my face rather than lied to and hidden behind a fake smile.  I find it refreshing and often hilarious and shake my head at the realisation that many people just don't like different.

Use a different perspective with your friends, family and students with autism and you will surly find something amazing.

Thanks for stopping by AuSumness.

Here are a few other entries that may interest you:

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/07/tips-for-getting-your-autistic-kids-to.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/04/autism-and-hair-cut.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/03/tools-to-help-those-with-autism-and-adhd.html