How To Deal With Meltdowns

Welcome to AuSumness.

We are sharing tips and tricks that have worked for our two Autistic boys both in the past and present.  Today, we are looking into the dreaded meltdown.  We'll make sure you know the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.  (It's also good arsenal to share with others who just think it's all a tantrum.)  We will look at ways to preventing them and diffusing them.

I have to admit, the meltdowns around here have improved tremendously.  Our oldest son doesn't have meltdowns as much as incredibly loud outbursts of anger.  We'll look at those another time.  Our youngest who shows a lot more Autistic symptoms is more prone to meltdowns than his older brother.

Perhaps, as with your child, friend or loved one with Autism, our JJ didn't show any signs at all of Autism in his first two years.  Compared to his brother, he was a gift.  The perfect baby.  He ate slept, smiled a lot and was just a joy.  Then, BOOM!  It hit like a hurricane.

Meltdowns were a daily occurrence.  Sometimes even more than once a day.  School was definitely a place for the mega meltdowns and still remains to be so.  What helped us most is learning what kinds of things triggers a meltdown.

New environments, loud noises, awful or strong smells, school or sensing the environment is going to change...It's all different for everyone on the spectrum.  Often, you can see it building.  That's what a meltdown looks like to me.  The last drop in the bucket kind of feeling where the emotion is so strong, like a boiling tea pot, it HAS to get out.

My oldest explained that it's physically painful to feel this way.

When I was in my 20's I had huge rage outbursts.  I might dare to equate that to a meltdown.  I'm glad as I was in a place where I could step outside of myself, see how stupid and ridiculous I looked during these fits and be wise and strong enough to stop them by myself.

This isn't the case for some people on the spectrum.  They need constant help and guidance to learn how to deal with these kinds of emotions.  Social cues by means of glares and shouting do not help at all, but just the opposite.

Let's look at the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.  Tantrums are all about getting the attention from those around them.  In a meltdown, they are not looking around to see the reactions of others.  Control is another issue at hand.  In a tantrum the child has control and in a meltdown, no one does.  Tantrums are ended, in most cases abruptly.  The child gets what they want or is reprimanded and it's over.  A meltdown takes much longer to unwind and it can also be hard to get over physically and mentally for a considerable amount of time.

Do not expect the person to be in any way shape or form, sorry for their outburst.  Shame and embarrassment rarely come into play so don't bother trying to make them feel any of those.

For years we didn't go out unless we absolutely had to because the change in environment was so stressful for both of our boys and frankly, for others as well.  This helped with meltdowns.  The best advice I can give is to remove the person from the situation as quickly and stealthy as possible before a full blowout meltdown takes place.  Pay close attention to what triggers this inappropriate and sometimes dangerous behaviour.

Distraction has worked wonderfully for us and removal, too.  Learning the signs is key.  Don't talk too much and act and react as calm as possible.  This shows them an excellent example, if they are even looking.  In a serious meltdown they more than likely are not able to pay attention to what you are saying or doing so say as little as possible.

If a meltdown is imminent, be sure to make the area safe or move the person to a place where they cannot be hurt or hurt others.  As long as nothing was getting broken and no one getting hurt, I'd just let him scream jump, twist, flap whatever he needed to do until he was physically spent and stopped.  Then I would hold him in my arms or at least get closer to him, physically and let him know that that kind of behaviour isn't tolerated and that we have to do more to prevent it from happening.

At one point we had a thermometer image where our kids could mark where they felt they were emotionally.  This was great for all of us.  The brother knew, the parents and person himself knew how upset they were getting.

You can print and laminate this one.

I would bet that many meltdowns happen because the person in charge is just not paying attention to the signs.  Sometimes a person is in the middle of dinner or a report for work and has no idea what's going on at the other end of the house.  We always had our children under our noses in the early years.  It was essential to stop destructive and dangerous behaviour.

To wrap it up:

Learn the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

Try to prevent meltdowns before they occur.

Learn the triggers and make the changes necessary.

Keep everyone safe if a meltdown occurs.

Stay calm.  Don't shout. 

Use simple sentences.

Discuss the meltdown when calm and composure is regained.

Meltdowns are dangerous and it's also a sign that there is something going on that is creating a great amount of stress.  Something has to be done about reoccurring meltdowns.  Get help if necessary.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by The Cherry.  We hope we've helped and we wish you the very best.

Getting Kids To Do Their Homework

Welcome to Ausumness.

We are continuing on the subject of homework from last week, where we wrote about IEP's and how they can help, professionally diagnosed students limit homework and adjust in class work if necessary.  

We'll share some research we've found about homework and tackle those homework issues you may have at home.

There has been a lot of research done on the effectiveness of homework.  In a nutshell, homework for elementary aged students provides very little educational gains on average.  There are numbers are out there along with numerous reports on this.  As an educator, it saddens me that some educational experts are not taking this in.

My oldest son comes home, every single day with homework and has been since he's 6 years old.  This makes him extremely bitter towards school, which already is a terrible situation.  The shouting matches and tears were just one part of it.  As you may also experience in your autistic or ADHD kids, it can take ages to do one small assignment.

The kids are finally home after a long day of sitting behind a desk and now they have to sit behind the table and do even more work, despite their success and attainment of that knowledge in the class.  My youngest brings home mostly busy work and he also loathes homework.

I found a useful report on this study at Educational Leadership where they gave a synopsis of gathered information.  To put it simply, the older the child, the more gains they get by doing homework.  Although, those gains were still relatively minimal.  We are just generally speaking for the sake of keeping this short, but you can read the report for yourself.

If you are a parent who thinks homework is necessary, despite what research has proven, you can always have your kids read or do fun science projects and conduct your own homework routine.  Another point raised is homework as a means of teaching responsibility.  My response would be, use chores as a means to teach responsibility at home.  It makes sense to keep tasks that are relevant.  Educational responsibilities are kept mostly at school, while home responsibilities are kept there.

I found these guidelines from Educational Leadership to be very useful.

Research-Based Homework Guidelines

Research provides strong evidence that, when used appropriately, homework benefits student achievement. To make sure that homework is appropriate, teachers should follow these guidelines:

• Assign purposeful homework. Legitimate purposes for homework include introducing new content, practicing a skill or process that students can do independently but not fluently, elaborating on information that has been addressed in class to deepen students' knowledge, and providing opportunities for students to explore topics of their own interest.
• Design homework to maximize the chances that students will complete it. For example, ensure that homework is at the appropriate level of difficulty. Students should be able to complete homework assignments independently with relatively high success rates, but they should still find the assignments challenging enough to be interesting.
• Involve parents in appropriate ways (for example, as a sounding board to help students summarize what they learned from the homework) without requiring parents to act as teachers or to police students' homework completion.
• Carefully monitor the amount of homework assigned so that it is appropriate to students' age levels and does not take too much time away from other home activities.

If you're stuck like us, giving daily, mundane, homework assignments to kids who hate school to begin with, consider these techniques and tips:

-  Let the kids play for a half hour or so and unwind after school (if time permits).

-  Use a timer to keep them on task.  (We spoke explicitly about this in a previous blog.  Click here to read more about timers.  They can be very effective.)

-  We always say no TV or game time until your homework is finished.  (We also have a blog touching on this and provide you with a useful chart.  Click here.)

-  If you have an IEP, make sure that homework is a part of it.  This was a major help for us.

-  Sit with or around your kids while they do their homework.

-  Provide a treat of fruit and or cookies while they work. (This really helps me get them seated and started.)

-  Provide an area where homework is always to be done and make sure it has limited distractions.

-  Explain to the teacher, your at home experience and show them the research we shared here and remind them of the IEP.

-  As we always encourage our readers, stick to your guns!  It's so much easier for everyone when we stick with the routine and keep them black and white.  There is little room for arguing.

This is one hot topic and I suppose you could find convincing enough information out there depending on the side you choose to believe or go with, but this is the way we thought was most convincing and judging on our experience, it seems to be true, that homework has very little effect on educational gains with younger students and can even have a negative effect, at that.

We hope we've been of help and that you'll join us next week where we'll be talking about the power of hugs.

Best of luck!

Autism and Oral Fixations

Welcome to AuSumness!

We're back with another edition focusing on Autism and sharing ways to help with different aspects across the spectrum.

Today, we are going to touch on Pica and oral sensory of excessive chewing with the goal of learning to identify when oral fixation is a problem and present some solutions.  We will look into both oral defensiveness and hyposensitivity.  Now, I've read quite a bit and I want to combine my findings with our own experience of these to form a sound, well rounded, in a nutshell piece.  Hehehe...

Let's take a quick look at what Pica is.  Next week, we'll dive further in to this because it's a pretty scary disorder and you should really know your stuff to combat it.

Pica is a developmental disability where inedible things are eaten or chewed on, to put it as simple as possible. Our youngest has this and in the beginning it was a nightmare.  He would be caught chewing on sand, rocks, rusty metal, squishy plastic stuff, just about anything, really.  He often choked and even ruined his teeth from constantly chewing on rocks and sand.  You must be vigilant if pica is present, but we'll get into more detail next week.

Let's look at the difference between oral defensiveness and oral hyposensitivity.

I find list form to be the easiest most comprehensive and quickest way to get information.  Here are some symptoms of Oral defensiveness:

*  particular about food, the texture, flavour and temperature
*  sensitive or objecting anything to do with oral hygiene
*  gags easily on food due to texture or flavour
*  frequently chokes

Some symptoms to oral hyposensitivity are:

*  Pica

*  enjoys exceptionally flavourful food

*  chews extensively on non food items including hair and nails

*  enjoys oral hygiene

*  continues to drool after teething

Jeffrey deals with just about all of these symptoms and as you can see has taken up with his blanket for pacification.  Ironically, he never wanted to use a pacifier as a baby.  I'm not sure if it is because he enjoyed breast feeding or not, but it is something I consider. 

READ THIS!!!

Another huge problem with these kinds of disorders (if they are even considered a disorder) is diet.  It is crucial that you do not allow your child to eat only junk.  You must continually place various healthy foods in all different forms and present them in different ways.  We've found just setting a huge array of goodies on the coffee table with the TV on, to be the most efficient and effective way to get both of our picky, sensory disordered kids to not only eat, but try new and different foods. It's even better when you leave the area and ignore them.

I would also recommend, through our own strenuous research, to never pressure or shout in an eating situation when meal time is a struggle.  It'll only get worse.  Be creative!  Allowing them to use their fingers is also a huge help.

JJ has this blanket since the Autistic symptoms started appearing, which was around 1 1/2 to 2 years old.  It has helped incredibly with Pica, jitters, focus, and anxiety.  His blanket brings him so much joy and comfort.  I don't care that he's 9 years old and carries it with him everywhere.  I can't even begin to imagine how much more difficult his life would be without it.

We often sneak the blanket away and put it on his bed or back in his drawer as a way to kind of ween him off or at least back a bit.  However, there are times when he really needs it.  We never ever make the blanket an issue.  It is one of the most important things to him and really, what work is it for us?

He's not aloud to take it to school unless he's having a terrible morning and asks.

I've recently started looking in to chewable jewellery for both of our kids and here is why:

*  oral issues are addressed

*  tactile issues are also addressed

*  helps relieve anxiety

*  helps with fidgeting

*  great for long car rides

*  super for homework and classwork

*  promotes an easier transition

*  helps regain balance

Here are a couple of examples of chewable jewellery.

I'm definitely going buy these gems!  I found them at the Therapy Shop.  Click on the image to get them.  My oldest obliterates his pens and pens.  This might really help with that.

Here's another example in a necklace and pendant form.  Of course, use caution if your child is a harsh biter.  It is not candy.  It is silicone.  For more details click on the image.

It's certainly fine to address obsessive oral behaviour.  As in most of our Autism entries, we advice doing so with tact, respect and as calmly as possible. Diverting and distraction may take a lot of work, but they are really helpful ways to stop or lessen, oral fixations as well. Be sure to speak with caregivers and teachers about oral issues especially, Pica.

Here are a couple of links if you want to look further into this.

http://www.autism-help.org/comorbid-sensory-integration-dysfunction.htm

https://dreugeniasteingold.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/is-your-child-hyposensitive/

http://www.theautismlife.com/the.senses.connected/the.seven.senses

I'll be honest when I say that I can't find a lot of good sites out there.  If you have, by all means, share the link in the comments. It's part of why I'm doing these entries.  Taking bits of information from a variety of places and putting them as comprehensively as possible in one spot.

Thanks so much for checking out AuSumness.  

The best of luck!

What is Pica and What Should You Do About It

Welcome to AuSumness!

Every Monday we are looking across the Autism spectrum at various aspects.  We are keeping it simple, to the point, informative and hopefully, helpful for everyone.  We're mostly discussing things we've experienced because we are not professionals per say.  However, we've got over 10 years dealing with the symptoms and behaviour of two boys at different levels of the spectrum.  So, we've got a pretty good arsenal on how to live happier with Autism.

We touched on oral fixations in a different blog.  Letting you know the signs of potentially harmful behaviour and what to do about it.

We wanted to go a bit more in depth over pica because it's very serious and can cause illness and even death.

Firstly, if you are dealing with pica, let me tell you, we understand!  It may seem like quite strange behaviour to others and it may even be difficult to see or perhaps even be brushed off due to the incredulity alone.  I really needed to get my head around it before I started being more active with the call of action.

Pica is the consumption of non foods.  In other words eating things that are not meant to be eaten.  Our youngest had it bad when he was a toddler.  Sand, rocks, spiders, insects, nuts, bolts, rusty screws (I know right?!) and especially and still things that are rubbery or squishy.  We missed a lot of school because of illnesses attributed to pica and he ruined his teeth from chewing on rocks.

Extreme vigilance is necessary.  It could save a life.  We often had to save our child from choking.  Make sure you learn how to do this if you also know someone with pica.  Tip:  What helped us the most was explaining each and every time that you may not eat things that are not food.  Like I said, JJ was a toddler when it started and he was also 100% non verbal.  We spoke clearly, without anger, attempted eye contact, nicely held his hand or shoulder and with as less words as possible told him that this was dangerous. Don't expect confirmation from the child.  Especially, if they are non verbal, but continue to speak with them even if you think they are not listening.

It's equally as important to alert family, friends and caregivers or teachers about this condition.

It is unclear what causes pica.  A dietary inefficiency perhaps.  I would assume that the pica JJ experiences is because of the developmental disabilities attributed to his Autism.  It may also have something to do with wanting to know what something tastes like and feels like in the mouth.  That might sound strange to you and me.  However, through our time with JJ we see that Autistic folks look at things a lot differently, on completely different levels and with an entirely different background experience. 

Read This

If you are experiencing pica, be patient, but diligent.  Alert family, friends and caregivers about the condition.  Make sure you know how to prevent and help someone who is choking.  Learn the signs of poisoning and by all means, do not take any chances.  You must constantly watch for potential consumption of non foods.  Be sure to address this behaviour EVERY time you witness it.

Vigilance and the constant reminder that this is not acceptable is necessary.  It is dangerous.  It is not healthy and could be deadly.  These are what you must continuously remind the person of.  Don't forget about the effectiveness of reverse positive reinforcement.  Commend them for eating real food! It worked very well for us and JJ is so, so much better.

Occasionally, I'll remind him of his previous behaviour.  "Hey, JJ.  Do you remember when you used to eat sand and spiders?  You don't do that any more do you?  Because you can get really sick from that!  I'm glad you don't do that any more.  You are so smart."  It may sound silly, but I do occasionally see a piece of rubber or foam missing from various objects.

Those are our tips for living with pica.  I hope they were helpful and that you'll join us again next week when we look at tools to help pay attention in the class.

We wish you success!  

Tools to Help Those With Autism and ADHD

Welcome to AuSumness!

In a previous entry we spoke about oral fixations and the helpful tools like bite jewellery and chewable pencil toppers. Today, we are focusing on a few very helpful tools for in the classroom or at home that facilitate better concentration.  We've used a couple of these ourselves in the class and at the table.  Breeze through the list and descriptions and see which ones might work best for you. The images are linked.

Fidget toys, what they are and how they help.

Fidget toys ultimately calm those fidgeting.  In a less stressed environment, people can pay much better attention, therefore absorb more information.  Fidget toys are designed in such a way to provide no distraction from others because they are quiet and if used properly, discreet.

Inside Out Balls

Pencil Topper Fidgets

Tangle

 Twisty Water Bracelets

Our oldest son uses the Tangle Toy matched up with a particular wiggle cushion which we'll show you next.  They both work really great at home and at school. Both our boys devour pens and pencils so the toppers are great for that, too.  I would caution the use of these toys with extreme biters and chewers.  Be sure they are not chewing through them or creating a possible chocking hazard.

Seating alternatives have been proven to help immensely with attention and are perhaps the least intrusive in the classroom.  Sitting still isn't always easy for a lot of us.  The toys above and these cushions below provide slight movement and these tiny movements provide stimulation.  This extra stimulations helps with focus and attention.  Doodling is a similar form as well.  You may even see people use prayer beads to relax or relieve stress.  It's the same thing.

Here are a few more tools to help with attention as well as provide a means to destress or release those fidgets in order to enhance focus.

Another calming device are these weighted vests.  Providing both pressure and weight from the top and around the mid section give the effect of a hug,  easing stress and serving as another stimulant to increase attention.  Weighted lap pads are another option.

Bouncy Bands are yet another fabulous tool that you could implement to help with those bouncy feet and legs.  I remember sitting in the cafeteria in junior college and watching a good quarter of the students bouncing their legs under the table.  I read later that this could be from a vitamin deficiency.  You may want to check into that as well.  An inefficient amount of Magnesium, Vitamin E, C and Iron could have a contributing factor to restless leg syndrome.

It's a shame teachers don't do more to get their students physically active in the class.  It's a good part of why children have so much pent up energy.  Science proves that physical movement helps stimulate the brain, therefore increasing intellectual potential.  I used to teach History in high school and even I could come up with physical ways to keep the students moving while they learned about the U.S. Constitution. We also stretched a lot and jumped up and down before tests and exams to increase brain function in hopes of performing better.

The last helpful tip we'll leave you with is use of a timer.  We have a detailed entry for this and how incredibly helpful it is with discipline at home and at school.  Click here to read how timers may be helpful in the class or at home.

Timers could be handy when time is of the essence.  It's not for everyone.  Try a timer and watch the reaction carefully.  Sometimes a timer may bring even more stress.  Try not to overuse timers.  We've found that rushing our Autistic children can lead to total meltdowns and mega stress.  As with everything in life, pay close attention and gauge behaviour and stimulants as much as possible.

If you're looking for tools to help protect your family on the internet, check out this link.

https://www.wizcase.com/blog/internet-safety-guide-for-people-with-autism-spectrum-disorders/#8%C2%A0%20%3Cbr%3E

We hope we have sent you on a path that will be helpful.

Feel free to share your ideas or experiences with these tools.

Thanks so much for stopping by. 

Using Games As Leverage

Welcome to AuSumness.

This is a shared post from The Cherry On Top.

Are games a huge part of you and your kid's life?  They sure are here!  At first I was alarmed at how into games my boys were, until I realised I could use them as leverage!  Hehehe...

First, I'd like to state, (Boo Hiss!) how important it is that kids don't play excessively on their gaming thing-a-ma-giggies.  It's recommended an hour a day is more than enough.  If you're like us, "Ha, ha ha..." right?!

We have found that we can get our kids to do just about anything when we hold the games over their heads.  Now, you don't want to abuse such powers.  So choose the most important things and stick with those.  For us, we say no games if you don't finish your plate because a good diet is essential.  If they come home with a failing grade or something really bad from the Juf (teacher), no games.  Finally, I use games as a way to get them to do chores.

I designed this chart to help with that and you can do the same by downloading our free version.

As you may know, we have two young boys with Autism.  So things are done around here quite differently than perhaps a more traditional home, but we think this would work great in any house. 

I've seen where the parents also hold the chargers hostage until a task is finished or as means of punishment.  Once again, don't over use this.

This will be printed, laminated and hung in a very visible place where the boys can see it and be able to cross off the chores as they are finished.  Just use one of those erasable markers you would use for a white board or print a new one out anytime you need it.

If you want your chart to look just like mine, hit up Magsgraphic Designs and download her newest addition to Geektacular.  She's got a lot of other gaming goodies and boy related digital designs.  

Simply right click, download, print, laminate, get an erasable marker and you're set!

This is for personal use only.  You may not resell or claim this design as your own.

Thanks for stopping by and stay tuned for more useful, free printables.

How an Individualised Education Program Can Work For You

Welcome to AuSumness.

We realise how difficult it is to get condensed, easy to read, geared for a general population and possible solutions all wrapped up in one cohesive, short post.  That's our goal here at AuSumness. 

I've done a touch of research on IEP's (Individualised Educational Program) because we also use the Belgian version of this in connection to homework.  I'd like to bring to the table, the information I found on the necessity of homework according to research and provide tips on minimising stress due to homework, exams and lengthy assignments, which through an IEP can be configured.

Let's start off looking at what an IEP is. An Individualised Educational Plan is a plan or program developed to ensure that a person with a legally identified disability receives specialised instruction and related services.

That means that the person has to be professionally evaluated, eligibility needs to be decided by qualified professionals, a meeting is called with the IEP Team and sometimes with the parents and teachers.  Our team in Belgium, consists of the parents, the school's councillor, a governmental representative for our region and an Autism professional and mentor.  Services are then provided, progress is reported, the IEP is reviewed and the child is later reevaluated.

Some parents do not feel comfortable admitting to a disability.  I would hope that pride would not come before education.  Perhaps the thought of labelling someone is also stigmatic.  Carefully consider the true and I stress how important it is to be honest with ones self about being realistic in regards to the limitations of your children or students.  Do not allow expectation to cloud what is actually relevant.  This is a huge problem we face.

I'm thrilled to have an IEP for our kids.  Our youngest goes to a special Autism school because he's already been through the professional diagnosis and cannot attend a regular public school due to his disabilities.  Our oldest, also professionally identified can attend a regular public school.  However, it is very challenging and stressful for him. Homework, tests and lengthy assignments are a huge burden and bring on many symptoms of Autism.  Thanks to an IEP, not only can our child remain in a regular public school, but he can also get some help.

If you are certain that your child is intellectually capable of handling the basic educational academic syllabus and you really want them to remain in a regular public school, than an IEP might be just what you need to make that happen. 

The research I've done on homework has provided this basic outline:

Homework on an elementary level has proven to be ineffective.  However, homework given to older students, in their last few years of school has proven to be very effective.  That's it in a nut shell.

I have observed that much of the homework given my boys is just busy work.  As if the teacher is required to give them homework.  My youngest has been able to count to 100 before he could even start school, yet every week he comes home with a task of filling in missing numbers from 1-100.  Proving my point on homework just being busy work, at times.

My oldest can come home with hours of homework, doing drill after drill over an exercise that he fully understood and comprehended since the third problem.  After many tears, shouting matches and a hatred for school, we attended our next IEP meeting with the plan on minimising homework and we could do this because of the IEP.

We made an arrangement, begrudgingly with the juf/teacher to monitor his homework and when it was too much, to pull out the most difficult tasks and if he could do them successfully, he no longer needed to continue.  We also recommend, when administrating lengthy examinations, that they either give one sheet at a time or only part of the exam.  When handed a booklet of page after page of testing, our son would shut down before he even started, despite the fact that he could totally do the work.  Seriously, wouldn't this even be stressful for any kid?

Breaking down the work.  Concentrating the work.  Has been a huge help.  It is more work for the teachers and you will more than likely find it difficult to get them to work with you, but through an IEP, it is legally binding.  So stand your ground!  Fight for what you know is best for your child, not what is easiest for the teacher.

For teachers, I recommend the above steps as well as keeping an open mind.  As an educator it is detrimental to remain open minded and flexible.  It will be one hell of an example for your students to show them patience, kindness and an understanding that we are all very different and that some people require a different approach.  This is true intellectualism, which his what educators should embody.

Teaching kids with IEP's is not easy work.  However,  the instructor can also learn from the experience and apply that experience not only to another pupil with an IEP, but perhaps for a student without an IEP or even better still apply it to the class because you've seen it work.

We hope this edition has been helpful.  Feel free to share your stories in the comments.  Keep it sweet and simple as we have for you.

Next week, we'll take that homework research out of the nutshell and discuss ways to get your kids to get it finished.

The best of luck!