Autism and a Hair Cut

Welcome to AuSumness!

Autism isn't always awesome and sometimes it's difficult seeing the silver lining.  As a matter of fact, everyday has challenges.  One huge chore for us, that presented fiasco type scenarios, was getting a hair cut.  Note the word was?  Today, we'll present several ideas that may help your kids cope with getting a haircut.

This is Liam, getting his first, finished haircut.  Thank goodness this kid has his father's hair and it took years for it to grown in enough to get a hair cut.  Hehehe...We knew, for sure, that it was going to be one heck of a feat, to get this kid to sit in a chair, in a strange place, with strange people and a lot of noise with an unfamiliar person continuously touching him.

This wasn't our first attempt at getting him a hair cut.  No, sir!  This was the third.  The first two were complete and utter failures with kicking screaming, crying and frazzled hair dressers and me swallowing my pride and explaining the whole Autism thing, again.

Here are some tips that may help you with this very difficult process:

I prepped him by explaining what is was we were going to do.  He had never had a hair cut nor seen anyone getting a hair cut.  So, he had no idea what to expect.  Try to explain, show a video or TV show dealing with getting a hair cut.  Then bring an arsenal of goodies and your patient hat.

I looked all over for a place that would have distractive types of tools, like the chair with steering wheel you see here.  It didn't help at all.  I brought books, snacks, drinks, toys, everything I could think of that might help the situation.

Prep the hairdresser!  There may even be a professional hair cutter who deals especially with this.  What would be ideal, is getting someone the child knows and likes, to do it.  We found a teacher at the boys special school, who cut hair and came to our house.  This helped us a lot.  As did giving them a lolly pop.  (Another aside tip:  monitor how often you give candy as reward.  Do NOT use candy excessively or it won't work.  It's also not ideal to give sugary sweets in the first place. So save the sweets for extra special occasions.)

The longest we could get either kid to sit was at home, with someone they knew, in front of the TV, with a lolly.  Holy cow, right?  If you don't want to leave a salon with half of a cut and a terrible meltdown, you have to take these kinds of desperate measures.

This next tip may seem a bit...odd, but getting a cute hair stylist really worked for both of boys.   Not so oddly, they preferred friendly, soft spoken blondes.  Look at this kid smiling WHILST getting a haircut.  Only a cute blond has this kind of power!  Hehehe...The power of beauty works at such a young age. 

Both boys did flip when they saw the Smurf, though.  They hate the Smurfs.  If you're really thorough, you may want to scope the place for any potential meltdown cues.

A stick behind the door is always another method that works fairly well for our kids, but it's another trick you don't want to use too, often.  For instance, I'll let you play an extra 15 minutes of games or when we are finished at the stylists, we'll go and get an ice-cream.

Awe, look at that fresh haircut!

If you do find a place that works, stay with it.  Routine is ideal for most kids with Autism.  Another thought to consider is, how important is my kid's hair.  In  a previous blog, I wrote about choosing what fish to fry.  Meaning, choose your battles and be realistic about what is REALLY important.

My oldest does not want a haircut.  He never wants one.  He likes long hair.  My husband, though once a long haired blonde, does not like this, but I convinced him that it is SO NOT IMPORTANT.  In this crazy, sometimes out of control world of Autism, hair is the least of our worries.  Allowing your children to have the kind of hair they want is a great opportunity for expression as well as giving them something they can control, which IS really important. It will help create a bond between you as well.

We made a deal with Liam that he could have long hair if he promised to keep it very clean, neat and to get trims twice a year.

I hope I didn't totally freak you out by sharing our not so great experiences with getting a hair cut.  It could be totally different for you and your kids.  On a positive note, getting hair cuts is no longer a problem.

If you have any tips or funny stories, share them in the comments.

Thanks so much for stopping by!  See ya next Monday with more awesomeness.

Is Your Autistic Child Obsessed or is it a Hobby

Welcome toAusumness.

We are keeping up with entries related to Autism on Mondays.  

Today, we'll touch on obsession. What is an obsession and when to worry about it?

The definition of obsession is: preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually and to a troubling extent

We are fully aware of the obsessive types of behaviour folks with Autism can have. Our boys certainly go through phases where one type of toy takes over their life to what might seem to be troubling.  We'll dissect this thought and hopefully bring you piece of mind or at least direction if the obsession is in fact troubling or harmful.

As many of you may know, Thomas The Tank Engine is a favourite amongst many kids with Autism.  Both of my boys were zapped with the fun, wheeling, bright coloured trains and faces.  Seriously, what's not to love?  They line them up, learn about numbers, move all around with their trains.  Learn colours, sing songs...I may have loved Thomas as much as the boys!  I can totally see how Thomas is so appealing.  We used Thomas to our advantage on so many levels.

Believe it or not, there are many positive aspects of hobbies or what may appear to be obsessions.  Let's take a look at some of those.

Hobbies can provide structure, order, predictability and can be used as a means to explain, relate or even help in particular situations.

Hobbies can help, relax and even give happiness.

Learning more and more about something in particular may also be fun, engaging and used once again as a means to communicate when nothing else seems to work.

Finding comfort in something particular may also be used as a means to be more involved socially.

We may have to ask ourselves, are we annoyed with their hobby and therefore think it obsessive to the point of worrying?

When should we worry?

Take a good look at the person when they are doing what you assume them to be obsessed with.  Do they look distressed, uncomfortable or do they look like they are trying to stop doing whatever it is, but can't?

Is their learning being forfeited for this?

Are they becoming less social because of their obsession?

Are they capable of stopping?

Is it causing significant disruption or damage to others?

Is the obsession to the point where it undermines their ability to live and enjoy themselves?

If you answered yes to one or more of these, then there may well be a problem.  So what should you do?

Start setting limits.

Do not take away whatever it is, but do try to minimise the use of it.  Try changing the subject if they continually talk about that something over and over.

Definitely make sure they are behaving appropriately socially.  Be sure to stick with the limits here, for sure.  If their behaviour is making strangers or others uncomfortable, it should be stopped or at the very least, addressed.

Link their interest to something new and try to expand or even evolve it into something new or different.

Profesional help is always an option, too.

With our experience, obsessions were very timely.  Thomas is now collecting dust and gaming is all of the rage.  Months and months of Minecraft, but then quickly, Mario Cart pops up again and in a couple of months something else will take over.

Another question you may want to ask yourself is, how much of this is my fault.  Hehehe...  Did you run out to the store and buy everything you could from Thomas?  Did you inundate them with books, movies, puzzles, colouring pages...We sure did!  Hehehe...We never thought of it as an obsession because it brought so much happiness to all of us and they did play with other toys.

Keep introducing new things to your children and students.  If they push them away, just keep trying. Don't force them.  As we mentioned in another Autism entry, some Autistic kids need time.  Sometimes, a lot of time to get used to a new toy.  They may need to look at it for several weeks, smell it, taste it, touch it, even throw it before they start to accept it.

If there is interest in other things, if they are not hurting anyone or being physically impeded continuously, then you may not have to worry.  Think of it as a passion.

These are our findings through personal experience.  We are not experts.  We're just here sharing our findings because there is a lot of information out there and it can be very watered down or perhaps too technical to fully comprehend.

We keep it light, positive and simple to help the most amount of people.

Thanks for all of your kind words and best of luck with your Autism experience.

If you are looking for more our our entries on Autism, hit up our Autism board on Pinterest where you can find more and all in one, easy place.

Dealing With Food Sensitivity

Welcome to Ausumness.

On Monday's we talk about Autism and give you tips that have worked or work for us, to try and make your life a bit easier, across the spectrum.

Today, we're looking at eating and food sensitivity disorders.  Perhaps you go through the same thing we do and that is stages, stages and more stages.  In a way, it's a bit relieving to think, "Oh, it's just a stage."  Sometimes they stick around for a while and other times they don't last at all.

Keep it simple and give them choices.

If there are any qualities we've learned to apply to make everyone's life easier, it's patience, compassion, perspective and persistence.  I'd like to go into each of these just a touch. 

Patience was something I was not born with it, but after having two kids with Autism, I'm getting really good at this one and I feel more at peace with myself and the kids are also less stressed because mom and dad are dealing.  It didn't come easy and it didn't come fast, but it did get here.  Showing your child patience is a super duper example behaviour.  You may even want to point it out occasionally. 

JJ!  Toes were not on the menu!

Compassion is what we need to feel when someone is in need.  Of course, everyone on the spectrum is different, but our youngest needs a lot of attention, around the clock, in most manners of life.  When we learn to be compassionate about helping people, it all gets so much easier and rewarding for all. 

Perspective is a totally cool tool to bring to the table.  I have never looked at life from so many perspectives as I have been the last 10 years.  I'm sure you've had times where you're looking at your Autistic friend, family or colleague and you're thinking, "What the...?"  We do this a couple of times a day, easily.  We are wondering where the heck they come up with these questions or why they found something funny or why they thought a date was so important that they remember it three years later, exactly.  Learning how to look at things or try at least try to see things the way others do is a true gift.  We can learn so much by doing this and for everyone, really.

Persistence is crucial.  Do not give up on the things that matter.  For us it's sleeping, eating and school.  We do not give in on any of these.  It's really tough in the beginning, but it gets easier for everyone after a while.  There are so many battles to fight, that it's important to remember the ones that are most important so you're not fighting all of them.  Think of things that are most important and work with friends, teachers and family so that everyone understands all of them and sticks to it.

Let them cook or bake, too!

Apply all of the things above to your sensory disordered person.  Our oldest never wanted to eat.  He was very under weight and eating time was something we all dreaded.  While our youngest had such difficult sensory issues, it took ages to figure out just what he would and wouldn't eat. 

First, I can tell you it gets better.  However, it is always changing and not always for the better, but  it is better than what it used to be because we were patient, compassionate, persistent and we put ourself in our kid's place to try and figure out what the big deal was.

Do not give in to junk, junk and more junk.  Do not continuously reward with dessert.  I see that this is a big problem for a lot of families.  Obesity is there.  We all should know that sugary, processed foods are hardly even food and reap havoc on our bodies.  No one is better off.  If the only healthy thing a child likes is celery than just keep giving celery.

Fingers are fun.  Don't push utensil use.

Continuously introduce new foods.  Never stop doing this. Encouragement is huge.  Show by example.  Try raw fruit and vegetables.  Start off by giving a dipping sauce of honey.  This one worked great for us!  A fresh fruit tray with all different kinds of fruit and a small spot for dipping honey.  Then use less and less and then none, if possible.

Just leave things on the table.  Don't make a big deal out of when they eat something, if it's possible.  We noticed that when we weren't watching, the youngest would often try stuff.  Give the kids serious props for at least trying.  This is a huge thing.  Our oldest has this smell thing.  He is very, very sensitive to smell and often doesn't want to even try things because of the way it smells.  They always HAVE to try at least a tiny taste and that's it.  Try not to harp about it.  Just let the food sit there.

Cram the nuts and veggies, and fruit into muffins!

Gagging is an absolute sign to stop.  Never ever force.  Especially, if there is gagging.

We don't let anyone leave the table until their plate is clean or until everyone else is finished.  You may find kids want to get off of the table to go and do something and this will help prevent that.  We also reward, occasionally, extra game time when they eat something that they really didn't like.  A prop behind the door is sometimes necessary, but shouldn't be overly used.

Many folks have problems with sauce.  So just give plain pasta, rice or potatoes without it.  There are so many kinds of pasta you can buy that are healthy like quinoa pasta and gluten free pasta, too.  Think of all of the shapes and  colours. 

Making food look fun or pretty will make it more appealing to eat.  We also give huge spoons or tiny plates to entertain and get them to think of other things rather  than the food.  Talk a lot.  Change the subject.  Try to laugh and make table time as enjoyable as possible.

Pay attention to what it is that they just can't handle.  Small pieces are often the culprit. I puree like crazy.  This way they get all kinds of vegetables, but there is no physical evidence.  Hehehe...Mix white vegetables like various beets, parsnip, cabbage...through your typical mashed potatoes.  Carrots and spinach are delicious mixed with mashed potatoes. This has been just magical for us. Make sure those chunks are not to be seen or felt by using a mixer.  Staff mixers are great for this.

Remember or learn the basics of what a healthy person should be eating.  We really need a minimal amount of meat.  So don't push that.  Potatoes are certainly controversial and shouldn't be consumed often.  Bread is also a hot topic.  Fruit, vegetables, grains...these are things to focus on and make sure they are being consumed.

Soup, completely pureed is ideal.  You can put it in a sippy cup.  Serve it cold or warm.  So many options with soup.

We've got a super blog with a lot more tips on getting picky eaters to eat good food.  Check it out, here.

To see all of our posts on Autism in one nice place, go to our Autism board on Pinterest.

Thanks so much for checking us out!  See you next week.