The Bright Side Of Autism

Welcome to AuSumness.

Our last entry on Autism was shared, liked and we received a lot of comments on our other social networks.  We love to see participation, compassion and so many folks looking for support, advice and or help, just like us.

There is an overwhelming amount of information out there and after years of our own, personal research and professional help, it's not all very helpful.  When we find something really good, we'll share it here with you.

The Atlantic posted, "Autistic Brains Have Distinct Advantages".  It's a really good look at different ways to view Autism. Many of us parents and teachers of Autistic children, feel that there is something special about our kids.  Not just in a loving parental way, but also objectively.  

We want you to look at your children with fresh eyes.  Look for the wonderful or even extraordinary things they are doing and start thinking of ways to utilise those talents.  It might take a while and it may not be obvious, but never stop looking.

Liam was so unique the moment he left the womb.  They put him on my chest and he raised himself up to look me in the face. I was worried that I didn't hear crying.  It was amazing.  He never slept as a baby and still needs very little sleep.  He rarely goes to the toilet and he needs the minimal amount of food.  In the beginning we found this alarming, but after several years we began to think how this could be advantageous rather than thinking of it as something bad.

Liam was able to do complex puzzles quickly before he could even stand on his own.

As the article states, "low functioning" autistic people can also be smarter in certain ways than neurotypical people.  We definitely see that in our youngest son, JJ.  He's low functioning and needs help with just about everything, even at the age of 9.

However, before he started showing signs of Autism, he was doing very extraordinary things.  I've always played classical music for the boys.  Especially, when they were still in the womb and to this day, JJ has an absolutely amazing and unexplainable relation with music.  He seems to be able to pick up on the pattern of music before the song or piece is even complete and half way through the song, he can finish it without ever having heard the song before.

JJ was non verbal until 5 and he still has serious problems with communication, but he was humming Mozart at one year old.  Today, he sings some songs that he hears in the car and his timing is just perfect.  I was listening to a funky, downtown kind of song with an over use of the "F" word, which he seemed to really like.  Hehehe...He understood the rhythm and timing before the song was over and we both never heard the song before.

Also mentioned in The Atlantic is how some unique skills from autistic people can be overlooked or deemed not useful.  We couldn't agree more with this and we feel that even many professionals are not grasping these gifts and directing it into something useful.  That's what we really want and need to change.

JJ is obsessed with Minecraft.  He turned a Jenga game into noticeable Minecraft figures.

Are your autistic friends or family good with math and puzzles?  Many autistic folks are great with finding patterns or making awesome connections that others cannot figure out, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  We all know about the falling tree in the woods.  We certainly need to change the way we think and then we will better our understanding of our children, family and friends with autism.

The Atlantic says that researchers are finding more evidence of profoundly disabled autistics that have incredible abilities that could be put to use if we could just get the right piece in the puzzle.  Just like The Atlantic mentions, autistic people being able to remember that January 13th was on a Tuesday, JJ can do that, too.  He also knows the birthday of everyone in his school and that's well over 100.

Yet what is his school or we, for that matter, doing about it?  What are all of these professional therapists doing to encourage, motivate or even improve these kinds of abilities?  Let's find uses for amazing abilities and let's also show others that this might just be another step in human evolution.  Perhaps finding a cure isn't all we need to focus on.  How about we focus on the utilisation of these unfathomable talents and give these people meaning, purpose and acceptance through continuous support and education so that people on the spectrum can become an integral part of our communities.

We seem very focused on erasing the differences between autistics and non autistics rather than harnessing the differences and working with the strengths.  Let's face it.  The social inability, if you will, to keep people feeling comfortable is a huge hang up of autism, but if we think more critically, is correcting this more important than improvement of their talents?  After all, how many people do you know that ask if you're ok even though they really don't care?  Aren't many comments your autistic friends and family make, things you're thinking anyway?  I don't know about you, but I like getting right to the chase.  I like it real and in my face rather than lied to and hidden behind a fake smile.  I find it refreshing and often hilarious and shake my head at the realisation that many people just don't like different.

Use a different perspective with your friends, family and students with autism and you will surly find something amazing.

Thanks for stopping by AuSumness.

Here are a few other entries that may interest you:

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/07/tips-for-getting-your-autistic-kids-to.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/04/autism-and-hair-cut.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/03/tools-to-help-those-with-autism-and-adhd.html

How A Timer Can Help Your Autistic Children

Welcome to AuSumness.

We're back with a few suggestions.  Here are some skills that we have learned ourselves and implemented in our home.  Tips that really work well.  We'll start off with just one.  They are unbelievably easy to implement.

Lately, I've been getting referrals from friends who have friends that recently received Autism diagnosis for their children.  Our boys are 9 and 11 and are at very differing places on the spectrum.  Of course, each person is different and these are just suggestions because they work for us and may work for you, too.

One of the many issues you may have is power struggles and constant bickering.  A way we have learned to combat this dialog is through the use of a timer.  It has been one of our biggest stress relievers. Both of our boys did not like being told when to stop doing something whether it was video games or a bath.  We realised that by NOT saying anything, the problem was solved.  It was that easy.

Currently, we are using the audio timer on our stove.  We set it for, let's say an hour to play on the Wii.  When they hear the beeping, they automatically stop.  We don't have to say a word and it is very, very rare that they keep playing.  I'm also more inclined to use the stove's timer than something physical that they can hold, because my youngest may just throw it across the room if he feels the time was not enough.

They can also check the timer to see how much time is left.  Both boys seem to respond very well to knowing exactly, even to the minute, how much time they still have.  Even if it is for a chore or studying.  That concrete, numeric meter seems to be just what they need.

Also, letting them know when time is nearly up can make the transition even easier still.  For example, in the evenings, we let the boys play on their tablets in bed for 30 minutes or so, before reading time.  (You could also increase or decrease this time as a means of reward or punishment.  I know that punishment should fit the crime, but this is one of the only things that work for us when it comes to consequences.)  We give a verbal warning that they have 5 more minutes, they hear the beep and there is no discussion.  

That's it!  Easy, right?  I plan on getting a portable kitchen timer for times when they can't hear the beeping from the kitchen.  If you have an hour glass or other type of time meter, you can try that, too.

Also, stick to your guns.  Beep and that's it.  If you don't stick with it and make it as black and white as possible, it may not work as effectively if at all.  I don't know about your kids, but my kids need black and white and if we are honest with ourselves we'll find the sense in that.

Here is a link explaining the benefits of visual timers.

At home, I don't want to stress my kids with the visual timers.  I know that my youngest uses it at school and is not a fan.  We've learned the importance of patience and time or how long it takes to do something, is not as important at finishing.  We've talked about choosing your battles.  This may be the greatest tip to learn.  Not only when dealing with Autism, but for life, in general.

Thanks so much for checking out The Cherry.  You can visit our Pinterest board, Autism to find all of our entries as well as other resources that may help you.

Autism and Socialising

Welcome to AuSumness.

We are finally back from a very long vacation and are ready to share some more tips to help readers cope with the symptoms of Autism as well as help others understand what it's all about.

A few days ago, some friend's of my oldest son came by, unannounced.  I was listening with half an ear from around the corner while working in the yard.  There was not a lot of conversation going on, so I joined in to see if I could help move things along.

Here is the assessment of the situation:

My son was in the middle of a game on his tablet.  His friends had come without warning and neither party knew how to address the situation that had arisen.

Like many people who have Autism, socialising is a challenge if at all possible for my boys. I could go on for days explaining our experiences with this, but will stick with the situation at hand.  My son barely took his eyes off of his tablet, he had no idea what to say to his unexpected visitor and had no regard to the discomfort of his guest.

From my son's friend came incomprehension at my son's behaviour, which tore at my heart a bit because we understand the importance of socialising, his friend's rarely come around any more since he moved schools and I really want to encourage them to visit more often.

Here are some tips that might help you with the same situation from both stand points.

From the visitor:

Alert your Autistic friend of your visit before hand, if possible and for the most productive result.  Also be aware of the often very literal comprehension of many people with Autism.  Meaning, if you say you are going to be there at noon.  Then be there at noon.  More minute later or even earlier can cause problems.

If you do come unannounced, wait until your friend has finished whatever he or she may be busy with before attempting conversation so that they really are listening.

Make sure that your visit is ok with them if you come without warning, by directly asking.  What one may consider being rude or blunt is actually the only or at least the best way for some Autistic people to even comprehend.  Plainly state the reason for your visit for the best result.

Give your friend time to take in your presence.  It may take a while and it would not be considered rude to ask them if they need this time or more time to get used to that fact that you are indeed, standing in their house wanting to communicate with them.  It may sound odd to some, but it is just what some people need.

Before leaving, ask if it is ok that you come unannounced in the future.

For the host:

Stop doing what you are doing when someone visits or at least ask them into your house and request that they wait until you can properly pay attention to them or ask if they could come back at another time and be sure to set up that time.

If the the guest has not plainly stated their reason for the visit, plainly ask.  Be aware that many people stop by just because they like you and they may want to talk or play because they like your company.

As a parent, I don't want to jump in for everything.  These are important life lessons, however.  If your children, friends or family do not have these skills or perhaps the ability to initiate socialisation then there may not be a choice.  Jump in and assist where necessary so that socialisation is encouraged because it really is necessary.

I asked that my son stopped playing his game and that he should listen to his friend. I know he likes this friend and I'm certain he had not thought of the consequences of ignoring his friend reaching out. It would be a different story if my son really didn't want this guy around.  Keep that in mind.  I certainly wouldn't force my children to accept guests that they do not want there.

**The next step was to figure out why his guest was there.  His friend probably thought it was obvious because he was holding his phone and talking about Pokemon, but my son didn't pick up on those social cues.  I pointed out those two facts and the lights came on with a bit of time.

The last thing you want to do is arrange another time for a meeting or at least request that they give a heads up before their next visit.  You may feel it necessary to explain some of the tips mentioned, like speaking plainly and giving time for the new adjustment or change by their visit.

Here is my FB group.  I'd love to have you join us there!

I hope this has helped.  

Feel free to see our other posts.  Our most popular so far are:

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/04/autism-and-hair-cut.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/07/tips-for-getting-your-autistic-kids-to.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/06/10-alternatives-to-tying-shoelaces.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/05/autism-and-pets.html

http://au-sumness.blogspot.be/2016/05/tips-for-feeding-sensory-disordered-and.html

Thanks so much for stopping by and best of luck!